Join the new world

Everybody knows it was a woman who invented windshield wipers. Because up until then, whenever it was raining or snowing, and the wife would say, "Oh maybe we should pull over.", right? Or "Maybe you should clear that snow from the windshield". Then the men would just say, "Oh, hush up, I know where I'm going."

That's what it's like to have freedom without enough socialism.


On the other hand, when a string of metal balls is hung as pendulums, each sequentially set to swing one second more or one second less than its neigbor, with the one in the middle making exactly 60 swings per second, then when all of them are pushed simultaneously, the group will start out in a wave pattern, migrate through a fascinating series of patterns, sometimes each ball seemingly "doing its own thing", sometimes moving synchronously with some of the others, and then return to a beautifully fluid wave pattern after one minute. This was predicted and proved by Galileo Galilei quite some time ago.

So. Obviously. If it was all about socialism and no freedom, then the pendulums would have always been set to the same height, then just swing all together in exactly the same way, and that would be that. Meh.


Given that explanation, it should be clear to you that the Socialist Freedom Party (SFP) -- as the song goes -- is the last best hope for e-humanity.



With its stern and steady yet adrenalized and sugary blend of twenty-first century socialism and Star Trek style freedom, the SFP is both like the roman candle of e-USA politics and social life, providing exhilirating explosions of light and heat, and the end-bulbs of Krause on the body politic, sensing when the cold e-wars require a sort of self-preserving shivery or atrophic squeeze in order to shake off the benumbing tedium of everyday e-life.


To conclude, the SFP is the limerick of e-life. How so? Well, it's a limerick. It's a limerick because it's a limerick. There's no rational explanation for it. Nobody knows why it's called a limerick. It has nothing to do with Limerick. And yet, when you hear it, you can't help but laugh or groan and think "that was clever" or "that was stupid" but you don't know why. And you want more.


Dear friends and citizens, do your duty!! On the 25th... Vote SFP!! Let's get this done!



Because you've just got to have some good, qualified knocker-uppers in Congress to keep everybody from keeling over from boredom! Here's the ticket...



PimpDollaz - Probably your next Country President, if we have anything say about it. And we do.

ubuntu21 - Your Immigration Czar, if we have anything say about it. And we don't. But still!

shiloh13 - Your Minister of thumping hard metal, if we have anything say about it. And we do.

Elorinn - Your Elven Represenative.

Pfenix Quinn - Your Lord of the Waves.

The Prince Simba - Your Lord of the Rings.

George Armstrong Custer - Possibly also your next Country President.

Franklin Stone - Rumored to be Master of the e-world's oldest political machine. And your next Country President in an Alternate Universe.

OmegWar - No idea who this carefree wanderer is, really. But they ride a goat and carry a sword. So maybe a snuff merchant? Or a time-slipped courtesan going commando?








Visit our Headquarters today!: Socialist Freedom Party







And for those who prefer their political campaigning in the form of limericks...


There once was a candidate named PimpDollaz,
Whose campaign had everyone abuzz.
He said, "I'll be your Prez,
If you give me your 'yes',
And together, we'll make all the laws."


Ubuntu21, the Immigration Czar,
Said, "I'll lead with a guiding star.
Though we don't have a say,
We'll make waves anyway,
And our influence will stretch near and far."


Shiloh13, Minister of metal so hard,
Bangs his head like a true rockstar.
With a thump and a bang,
He'll make the halls clang,
And turn Congress into a mosh pit's yard.


Elorinn, the Elven Representative fair,
Brings a touch of magic to the air.
With wisdom and grace,
Rinn'll win a rightful place,
And protect the forest with loving care.


Pfenix Quinn, Lord of the Waves so grand,
Rides the tides with a steady hand.
With a voice loud and clear,
He'll banish all fear,
And lead us to victory across the land.


The Prince Simba, Lord of the Rings in tow,
Brings tales of adventure to bestow.
With courage and might,
He'll fight the good fight,
And ensure our freedoms continue to grow.


George Armstrong Custer, possibly next in line,
Says, "I'll lead with honor and shine.
In this political game,
I'll rise to fame,
And make history with each decision and sign."


Franklin Stone, rumored to control the old machine,
Says, "I'll lead with ambition and sheen.
In this alternate verse,
I'll make the nation rehearse,
And lead us to glory, a true political dream."


OmegWar, the carefree wanderer, wild and free,
Rides a goat with a sword by his knee.
A mystery unsolved,
Yet his presence evolved,
As he roams through the land with glee.