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The NEW Pony Express Starring Kermit and Miss Piggy

Day 5,574, 15:43 • Published in USA USA

• by Pony Express

Last week our own Janitor George played golf with old friends Kermit and Fozzy, and booked them for the show.
Blue Owl Capital’s private jet whisked our stars to Joint Base Andrews, where Janitor George met everyone and brought them all to the OwlCorp Studios at The White House.

And now, on with the show..!

: GOOD EVENING, FRIENDS, AND WELCOME TO OUR SHOW! Tonight we’ll be presenting the best of last week’s US media, along with a few chuckles and maybe a laugh or two.. We’re sure gonna have fun and you should, too!
: You know I’m here just for the fun, Kermie-baby..!

Original Air Date: Friday February 24, 2023 (Day 5575 )
Location: OwlCorp Media Studios, The White House

On Tonight's New Pony Express Show:
:1: Live from Bethesda Naval Hospital
:2: Last Week’s News Now

Editor’s Note: While most Government publications are a reflection of that government’s relationship with the citizens, the Pony Express is a reflection of the citizens’ relationship with each other as a community.

The Swedish Chef has a cure for the ailing Media

: BORK! BORK! BORK!
Control Booth: sound check— this can’t be right…
: See zee chick-chick floppin’ in der potten, der soupen zee chick-chick cure zee coma!
Custer: Is he about to butcher a chicken in the ICU?!
Director Jude Connors: um.. Chef.. don’t do that..
: soupen zee chick-chick, soupen zee chick-chick, BORK! BORK! BORK!

Director Jude Connors: Let’s have that snack commercial before he…
Control Booth: (singing) soupen zee chick-chick, soupen zee chick-chick..!
Connors: the commercial, please..
Booth: bork bork, boss.. *click*

And we’re back, with the Munchies… I mean, with the News.

Custer: Fozzie, Gonzo are you guys ready?
Connors: Is that another chicken?
Control: sure, chickens all over the show but none at Food Services..
Custer: you’re a tad overdue for a salad, anyways..
Control: whatever.. Chicken News is live in three.. two…

: Hi, I’m Ace Reporter Fozzie Bear, along with Gonzo and Clarisse, bringing you the best of last week’s news.
: But what if there’s no new news to review?
: Then we make shit up, my friend, because no news is bad news– mostly because no news means no paycheck.
: buh-Kawk..!
: That’s right. Clarissa, now let’s see what Custer has to work with.

Well, there has been some media this week. As Dr RJ Reynolds said, and our own Swedish Chef concurs, it is encouraging, but the worldwide media drought continues to hit the eUS Media especially hard.

The Tuesday edition of this newspaper, the Government and Official News, has been shut down. It was ambitious to reopen one dead newsletter as two totally different publications every week. We will not address the elephant in the room, rather, we refer to the scripted reasons being low ratings over there and high budget over here.
The addition of not only Official news, but also Party and MU news, might be enough to fill out this segment properly. Let’s have a look.

Editor’s Note: Though we published late Thursday, Friday morning brought a few new articles, and this segment has been edited to include them.

Jessie Raspberry’s Erep Meme #1 rocketed to the top of the rankings within hours of publication. It’s an eclectic presentation of memes he’s made, and well worth the click to see it.
Samardza, a Serb, published Beginner Steps, which isn’t bad considering he’s a noob, himself.
NEET the Author, another relative noob, published his ninth edition of E Pluribus Unum, a simple fluff piece.
Phoenix Quinn published PQ Sings the Blues, featuring The Ballad of PQ in classic Quinn style.
PlasticAlley offers a critique of Plato in Crypto vault and other BS.
George Barker reminds us of the RL Ukraine War in 365 Days..

Custer asked whether he should run for POTUS in March.

Other than last week’s edition of The NEW Pony Express Show Starring Krusty and Friends and the Government News’ announcement, the rest of the government laid another media goose egg.

LATE EDIT: The US attained world power superiority today, becoming Number One ranked, and having surpassed 4000 strength points has been declared an Empire.
The WHPR published a late edition, WHPR Special: the USA is an Empire.
His Excellency, the Royal Governor YuiMCCP001, posted a nice troll pieces in the Hun media: [Excellency] The GlorioUSA Empire

Nuclear Plato trolled Asteria with another look-alike edition, Asteria - Indonesia relation (Singapore operation)

An open invitation was posted in a bunch of Party and MU Discord channels, announcing the end of the ban on Party and MU inclusion in government newspapers. Showcasing Party and MU activity in media builds Community, I just gotta have material to work with to do my part.

Stef40 posted a Party recruitment article, [url=Stef40 posted a Party recruitment article, JOIN AND VOTE BSP.
Punkinette cryptically announces the revival of the USWP in The lasting zombie vote or as shrines tarnish glares from neglect.

This Saturday is Congress election day.
TheeDude posted a straight up and clean campaign piece promoting Rough Riders for Congress… a month ago. So why is the article trending today? It’s got 60 Votes and climbing, that’s why.

Next week we should see some POTUS campaign media.

Dropping the Government News paper is like organ failure.
US Media remains on life support, though he did make some gurgling sounds this morning.

Fozzie: Ouch, that was painful. (now cheery and excited) Thank you, Custer! That’s our media this week, folks. And now, Miss Piggy with the weather!

Control: ann-nnd.. *click*

: Hello, America and Hollywood! This week’s weather has been simply wonderful! I love you all! (blowing a big kiss) MMmwaaahh!

Custer: We don’t do weather.
Janitor George: As a special favor, okay. Miss Piggy has.. Um.. certain charms.
Custer: certain charms, huh..
Connors: this whole bit isn’t even in the script..!
Booth: what’s the matter, old man, can’t keep up?
Connors: screw you, Bob, just stick to pushing your buttons....
Booth: looks like I pushed yours just fine.. *click*

: That’s our show for tonight, folks! And Thank you all at home for tuning in to The NEW Pony Express Show. Tune in again next week for a big Laugh-In spectacular! Goodnight from The White House..!
Well, that was fun, wasn’t it, Miss Piggy? Um… Piggy? ..Fozz..? Gonzo..? Guys…?

Booth: they’re already destroying the catering table..
Connors: get over it, Bob… and Cut. *sigh* Roll credits. Custer, take us out..
Custer: It’s been a great show– Thank You Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie, Gonzo, Chef and chickens.. To our audience at home— We’ll see you all again next week– GOODNIGHT EVERYONE! DRIVE SAFE!

The New Pony Express Show was recorded Live before a studio audience.
Kermit, Piggy and others appear courtesy of Disney Picture Studios.

Of course there’s a blooper reel.
Tonight’s episode of The NEW Pony Express Show Starring Kermit is available on Blu-Ray from OwlCorp Home Video.

Kickstart the Media.
Every keystroke counts.

Oh, and, Shout this around :

The New Pony Express Show
Starring Kermit and Miss Piggy
https://www.erepublik.com/en/article/2764149