The Great Empire of Canadia

Day 1,238, 14:01 • Published in Canada Canada • by Armour144


Fellow eCanadians, we are embarking on a great journey, a journey that will put eCanada on the map as not only America’s hat, but as her owner. You see my fellow eCanadians, for too long we have been hiding in our igloos, eating raw seal meat and drinking maple syrup.

And if you have been keeping up to date with your foreign news, you might also know that the eUS is in some sort of civil war involving its military and government parting ways to some extent. So I have a question: Do you think this all happened by chance? I sure hope you don’t, because that would be underestimating our grand strategic abilities, and that is never a good thing.

Yes, us polite, innocent, and over-apologetic Canadians have infiltrated the American militaries and caused a massive split, weakening their resistance considerably. Not only that, but we managed to get most of them actually fighting for us! Can you believe our incredible trickery skills? I bet you don’t, but that’s ok. We can keep our nice, innocent, non-scheming image until we’ve conquered everyone else too!

We have already struck in Florida and Pennsylvania and pushed through 17 enemy allies. Now we are assaulting New Jersey and I assure you we will succeed there as well. One by one, my friends, the eUS will fall, and in its ashes the Empire of Canadia will rise. We will be all powerful (although we already are obviously…), we will crush any who oppose us, and perhaps most importantly, we will have enough slaves to increase production in the Syrup Mines by 500%!
Can you imagine having that much Maple Syrup?

Imagine having that bottle of maple syrup, but a gajillion of them.



Yes. A gajillion.

Needless to say we will have excess amounts of Maple Syrup. New technologies will arise that develop more uses for Maple Syrup. Before long, we will start wearing hats made entirely of Maple Syrup. We will create a clone army fed only on Maple Syrup. We will create a Death Star, except it will be comprised of only Maple Syrup.

Yes, the future of eCanada is bright. All we need to do is reach out, conquer a few people, and throw them into the Syrup Mines.

Now onwards!


Nah, just kidding. Really all we want is to penetrate our Bro's a bit more 😉 We know they like it rough.