Secret Government Plans
Day 3,601, 11:46
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Published in USA 
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by
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by Dariuswolff
This is more of a participation article. The premise is that we are all going on deep dumpster dives looking for secret government plans. The more absurd the better.
SAMPLES:
The governments plan to fight an alien invasion:
1. Tell the Chinese aliens taste good, prolong life and enhance sexual stamina.
2. Inform the aliens they must register and report twice a year, and having failed to do that, they are now being deported back to their planet of origin.
3. Subject aliens to Justin Bieber music performed by Nickelback 24/7.
So, please, go out and find your own top secret government plans and post them in the comments below.
Thanks for your participation, your subscriptions and endorsements!
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Comments
The new USA Universal Health Care Plan:
Send an aloe vera plant, 3 aspirin and a box of band aids to each citizen.
I have a plan for preventing an invasion by the mole people.
It does no good here, unless you reveal it.
The government's secret plan on how to handle an EMP burst causing a grid down event:
1. Have FERC notify all the state's PUCs to order every electrical utility to mail back dated delinquency and shut off notices to every consumer, then blame it all on computer error.
You have been found non-compliant with FEMA Rule 666 Pt.13 Para Z to whit : Failed attempt at humor. Please report to your nearest FEMA Installation for " re-education "
You first.
Because I have no inspiration, I'm waiting for you to write to or about 🙂 the North Korean Republic Missile Program! ...
But that would be real world political writing. I deal in light humor, satire, and at times general idiocy as represented by my very befuddled and elderly self. I will however say that the world's real adults should have found ways and means of keeping very dangerous weapons out of the hands of children, fat-boy children, man-child children, et.c.
Here's mine:
USA Universal Health Care Plan
#3 is cruel and unusual punishment.. It may lead to interstellar war therefore, i am all for it.
The government secret plan is selling our sense of humour to the aliens. Best way to stop it is to stop laughing. We will destroy our government and their alien counterparts within one weekend.
o7
WE COME IN PEACE!!!
PLEASE STOP THE JUSTIN BIEBER!!!!
WE HAVE NO TEENAGE HUMAN FEMALES IN OUR ARMADA!!!!!!
Secret government plan if there is a zombie uprising:
First they weaponize zombies, worry about consequences later.
Secon😛 They force Wall Street to collateralize brains and offer brain derivatives on the open market.
Thir😛 They replace the obviously incompetent zombie in the White House with the richest zombie.