Plato Fixes eRepublik

Day 3,314, 20:11 • Published in USA USA • by Gnilraps
Day 3314 of the New World
December 16, 2016



BREAKING NEWS

Plato Announces “Fix” for eRepublik, New World Buzzing at Fever Pitch



Serbia — As anti-Plato articles turned hostile in recent weeks with widespread reports of spamming Alexis Bonte’s account with donations of 0.69cc and 69 Q1 foods, Admin was able to instill calm and regain control by announcing the latest game update, “participation trophies” to all millennial Citizens who successfully logged in once per day.


The shrewd tactic was the idea of the sole eRep Labs SRL Staffer who is still almost paid to actually work on the once potentially popular browser game. Preferring to remain anonymous, he noted to reporters Friday that he remembered how many children “never had to deal with strategizing in pursuit of a victory as they were growing up.”


“It’s a foreign notion to them. Even in sports—win or lose, everyone won, and everyone got a trophy no matter what. This is the millennial way,” he said. “So I had the idea—hey, why not start handing out participation trophies to every Citizen, and telling them ‘Hey, you know what? You may have gotten sniped for that Sky Hero Medal, but look—everyone gets a trophy. Everyone’s a winner.'”


Seeing how the trophies had an instantaneous calming effect on the Citizens of the New World and filled them with a sense of fulfillment and achievement, word spread quickly among multi farmers who quickly flooded the www.instantproxies.com web site with requests for packages of 100, 500, and 10,000 proxy ip addresses.


At publishing time, Plato had updated the eRepublik Labs web site with a fresh splash page inviting visitors to “join over 8 million gamers.” He also announced that the “Society Builder” medal would no longer pay gold.





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