Heres some jokes

Day 739, 17:32 • Published in Canada Canada • by CoIoneI Sanders

Santa Claus brings poor Rudolph to the vet. He says to the vet, &quot😉octor, please do something for my Rudolph. His nose won't light up." The vet walks out of the room and returns with a pet carrier. He places the pet carrier next to the reindeer, opens it and out steps a cat. The cat walks around the reindeer and sniffs it. The cat then walks back into the carrier. The animal doctor takes it out of the room and returns. He hands Santa Claus the bill. Santa gasps, "$350 dollars! You didn't do anything for my Rudolph and you're charging me $350 dollars?" The vet shrugged and replied, "That's the usual charge. $50 dollars for the office visit and $300 dollars for the CAT SCAN."

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his voice.
"I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...
I PRAY FOR A NEW PLAYSTATION...
I PRAY FOR A NEW DVD PLAYER..."
His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"

Doctor, doctor, my son's just swallowed some gunpowder.
Well, don't point him at me.