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This SPECIAL EDITION of ONWARD! provides an in-depth look at the candidates for the March 2022 Country President Election in the e-USA.



The two main candidates are:

Kody5. From the Federalist Party, Kody5, the incumbent, is endorsed by four parties: the Socialist Freedom Party, the United States Workers Party, The 506, and the Rough Riders.

Dominar Rygel XVI from We The People, Dominar is the former emperor of the star-spanning Hynerian Empire, encompassing over 600 billion subjects across the Milky Way. He has zero official endorsements, but it is likely that he will draw votes from supporters in The Black Sheep Party as well as from bots voters in his own party.



The three minor candidates are:

icekamikaza from the Terran party, is yet another old fart who longs for days of PEACE and EDEN. The Terran party is a small group that promotes the cause of Rock and Roll in eRepublik.

Countess of Flame from The Communist Party, of which the Countess is the sole member, continues to promise a free pony to all citizens if elected.

Aberrant Zebra from the eponynous Zebra Party, of which Zebra is the only member, is a strong believer in Spring Break, with its attendant shenanigans and hootification.



While the minor candidates obviously offer much that is appealing to the average Murkin voter, our reporting will focus on the two main candidates.

The SFP has endorsed Comrade Kody5. for another term. But this is a a totally fair and unbiased news source. So -- despite our endorsement of the only sensible, definitely best-looking, if maybe slightly boring, candidate in the race -- this journal has a mission to provide readers with a fair, balanced and hilarious evaluation.

We interviewed average, ordinary, random players-on-the-street to get their views of the two candidates.

Here is a smattering of the fascinating responses to our insightful and objective questions...



Q: Dominar Rygel XVI, is he a really a huge fart, or is he really a real person?

Average person on the street #1: As I understand it, he is a longtime fugitive from justice who served several hundred years on various prison ships. And now he is just marking time here on e-Earth while plotting to take back his throne from his brother Bishan. He is indeed a real person, but also a giant fart.



Q: Is Dominar Rygel XVI truly a giant among men?

Average person on the street #2: (Uncontrollable laughter). You know he's only two feet tall, right? LOL!



Q: Dominar Rygel XVI claims to be a warrior against multi-accounts, bravely ferreting out a vast conspiracy that threatens the very fabric of our e-society. What do you think?

Average person on the street #3: (Uproarious laughter). (Wiping tears away.) Oh right. WTP and the chicken gang. Sure! I trust them to.... LOL! I can't even say it with a straight face. You know the ONLY multi vote removed in the last election was one from the chicken gang, right? (More laughter)




Q: Kody-Five-Dot, has he kept his promise to be the greatest socialist president ever?

Average person on the street #4: Wut? Get away from me you commie!..

Average person on the street #5: Well, I haven't seen any big changes in social programs. GIMP continues to, ummm, limp along. Oh jeez. Can I say that? Are you recording this? Don't say my name...

Average person on the street #6: The US government budget is managed by a cabal of Federalist oligarchs. All power to the people! Off with their heads! (Singing) Do you hear the people sing, singing the song of angry men? It is the music of a people who will not be slaves again! When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of the drums, there is a life about to start when tomorrow comes! ...


Q: Kody-Five-Dot, has he been a good CP?

Average person on the street #7: Well. We didn't get invaded or wiped. All the training wars were managed well. And, best of all, until the terrible RL circumstances with the invasion of Ukraine brought about the e-Armistice, we had some really fun "real wars" to fight in. So yeah. He did OK.



Q: What has been the best part of Kody-Five-Dot's administration?

Totally random average person on the street #8: Oh my gosh, the amazing media renaissance for sure! I've heard that it was all due to the Amazing and Handsome Pfenix Quinn, Kody5's media czar! Evidently PQ put together a Kick Ass Media Squad then, through the sheer force of personal pizazz, made the e-world a better place by encouraging writers to do their thang! So cool! Also, did you know that during the PQ reign tenure, several amazing editions of WHPR were published and a new government journal appeared -- Telegrams From the Front -- that explained in ordinary language what training wars are, why they're a good thing. And stuff. So, yeah, I'd vote for Kody5. again just to make sure that that PQ dude keeps the fires burning in the media!







So there you have it! A TOTALLY fair and unbiased look at the main candidates in this month's Presidentielle. Remember to vote, if you're into that kind of thing, and...