[USWP] I offer you my help

Day 3,691, 16:22 • Published in USA Spain • by Rosa Violet Carson
Why so serious?


Greetings Pfeifer,

I know you don't think much of me - the feeling is mutual. Nevermind.
Just recently I've been reading about your decision to put the dead corps of the United States Workers Party to it's final rest & start the process of re-branding.
Some will say "Vulpes pilum mutat, non mores", others that zombies will stay zombies, no matter how much flesh & blood they consume.
I say the times have changed & your, once (in)famous party, desperately needs some freshness & better looks.

Let's be honest: I know you will not change the established policies & political views. After all, democracy is a cursing word in your dictionary; why the hell should the opinion of "peasants" matter, I know, I know. And why put new members on the congress-list, now, when everybody got used to the returning old faces?!
Therefor the best way to present the public something new, in order to lure new players, would be to change the name & the visual identity - create a new packaging with the time-proven content.
Me & my team of creative-branding-bots did some brainstorming, so you don't have to. After all, you have much more important things to do, like trolling congressmen in the sacred halls of congress on that little private elitist-forum of yours or playing FarmVille on the internet.
We came up with some really good names for the new soon-to-be party, like GTFO (short for Greedy Toads for Opulence), STFU (Selfish Turds Follow Unity) and WTF (as in Workers Trolling Fiffer - I know, I know, not that brilliant). Some bot even suggested F.U.C.K., meaning Fiffer Undermines Congress - Klan). But nothing came even close to the winning combination; are you ready?



It perfectly captures the essence of your political beliefs & the core values of the party! And I'm 100% sure you will love it!

Regarding the new logo, me & my bots had an immediate consensus, as soon as I've suggested this image:



There's so much symbolism in here: the gold color, because the accomplishments of the USWP are written in golden letters in the history e-books of our nation for eternity, like the Unity Elections, that liberated us from undesirable political choices & relieved us from the dangers of democracy. Or the Defensive Dictatorship, which has rejuvenated our community so well, spared us from unnecessary congressional activity & saved us from the evils of our mortal enemies. They are everywhere!
And the typography X-tra pleasure; I know I know, it's self-explaining!

Because you've been such a good sport & because you've served our county so well, hording our shekels, safekeeping our gold on those private accounts, far away from all them thieves around, I give you this as a gift. You can thank me later!

Wishing you many more exciting days of eRepublik gaming & plenty shining medals on your boy-scout uniform!


Yours truly
~Rosa

P.S. Knowing how much you like Taylor Swift, I've almost included one of her videos at the end of this article. But then I though you might want to experience other awesome female vocals. So I have chosen London Grammar, featuring the beautiful voice of Hannah Reid. And the featured song was much more fitting to the narrative!