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In case you're just catching this now, please read first the other parts:
* Part 1
* Part 2
* Part 3

I was debating with a friend whether I would try writing my failed love story with a girl we will hide in the code CM. That friend said I should try, since it is how I moved on in the past, but I am too shy to post it in a blog or in social media, so I decided to use media here in Erepublik, of which will serve as my sort of "test audience" on how people will respond (as comments or PM) to teenage love stories (Yes, I'm just turning 18, but my age had nothing to do with my administration skills). Besides, its been the holiday season.

You must understand though that I am hiding all of the persons' names in initials, including mine. Deal with it for now, since I have no time thinking of pseudonyms. Besides, medyo sinipag ako ngayong tapusin na 'to.

Thanks for making this the top article in Philippine media for December 4, 2013. For that, I'd betray some photos now. 🙂


A random class picture during 3rd year HS. We both wear glasses at this time. Also, this could have been one of the closest I could have been to her. CM is 3rd from left on the second row from front, I'm 2nd from left on the last row from front. And, its not actually on purpose. We were immediately scrambled because this random class pic was out of schedule. Stil, isn't she cute or what? (Please do not misuse the image for bad intentions or purposes.)

I don't exactly know if its one of the summer nights before 3rd year HS began in June of 2010 or it was already the beginning of 3rd year HS in June of 2010, but I was sure it was a Friday night. We were texting (SMS) from around 8 pm, and I should tell you that this is not the first time we were texting. This will actually be the last.

The first time (or one of the first times) we texted was around an hour or so, until she had to take a bath and wear a nice white dress to attend some event in Makati City. How'd I knew this? Obviously, she texted these details to me. I think I was even imagining her taking a bath. Its bad, okay, but what can I say? Rated SPG. She later told me, when I asked about her day, that her dress was stained.

Now, what happened in this last time we texted?

For an hour or so, starting around 8 pm, we were texting only about usual topics like how the day was, have you eaten, what have you eaten, are you busy, what are you watching... I don't exactly remember all the details. I already lost the phone I was using then. The charger won't work now, so there. It was a Sony Ericsson, without Bluetooth.

Then, by around 9 pm, there came a sudden turn of events from me. I think I first asked then if she voted for me in the last student council elections. In the Philippines, usually public schools, student councils were called Supreme Student Government (SSG), and these were ordered further up into divisional, regional and national. I made its Wikipedia article, so you can search it.

I ran as batch representative, wherein I lost not to the incumbent, but to my fellow newcomer. He's actually the Top 1 of our batch, not only of his section.

Going back, she said she didn't vote for me and added the apologetic term "sorry".

I think by this time I'm getting pumped. Even my love won't vote for me? Surely the election result is clear by that thing alone, at least for me.

My memory fails at this point, but if I recall it correctly, this is when my bubble burst and I began sending her ALL CAPS messages. I was like (not verbatim):

"Gusto kita. Ay, hindi. Mahal kita, ok? O yan, nasabi ko na. Antagal na o. Bagong school year na, ganun pa rin nararamdaman ko. Anong tingin mo dito? Taking note pa na hindi mo ako kinausap ever? Kahit 400 ang grado ng salamin mo, minahal kita. Hindi ko nga alam kung natanggap mo yung regalo ko nung Christmas Party. Wala ka namang sinasabi. Naka-siyam na installment na tayo sa kwento ko, hindi mo pa rin ma-appreciate? Ano ba? Or should I say, ano na?"

I was crying at this point. Of course, its hard to imagine that I'm actually crying, because I know I last cried when I was around 5, when my friend poked a scorching hot twig in my face. You know that story. I also said that in Part 2. Wait, I was actually both angry and crying. Now, that's harder to imagine, especially if you know me. I was 15 then, so minus 5, it had been around 10 years ever since I had that feeling.

She replied something like this (again, not verbatim):

"Alam mo, pinilit talaga kitang mahalin. I checked my heart if you really had some space reserved there, pero wala talaga eh. Please, intindihin mo din situation ko. I'm sure alam mo na yun, pero heto nga ang di ko nasabi. Wala akong feelings para sa'yo eh. Sorry talaga ah."

By around this time, my pillow's fast becoming wet, I can't even rest my head on there. Can you just imagine how much I cried then even if we're just texting? Most probably because I'm also angry at the response. I was thinking like this: "Is it really you? Or is it me? Was I lacking something? Where or what did I lack? What does he have that I don't have, except the car and the big gift in the past Christmas Party?"

I texted back in a series of around 2-3 messages, which was, in essence, was this (I have to say again, not verbatim):

"Maybe ginusto mo talagang isara ang puso mo para sakin. Ayun yun ano? Kaya ba ayaw mo ako kasabay ng lunch kahit I offered the idea time and time again? Tapos hindi pa siguro tayo maging magkaklase ulit. Tuwang-tuwa ka siguro sa ganito ano? Ang haba naman ng hair mo para paglaruan lang ako. Besides sa panglilibreng ginagawa ko, sa'yo nauubos ang pera ko. Alam mo ba yun? Syempre hindi. Baka nga tinapon mo lang yung regalo ko noon eh. Ganyan ka kasi. Ano ba tingin mo sakin? Hindi nasasaktan? Lagi lang akong masaya sa harap ng tao pero sentimental din akong tao. Kung ang Diyos nga nagagalit, nagseselos, ako pa kaya?"

It was around 10 pm then, and the worse came to worst. She didn't reply. I gave her another scorching yet sensational message as I bade her good night. Then, I went asleep... after crying, again, for another hour or so.

My parents did not actually know this thing happened.

The next morning, there was no classes, and I thought of what I did. I'm actually wondering how I had that side of the coin in my personality. It had been 10 years. One more thing, she still haven't texted me, and even though I look like I don't care now, I think I still do because I kept checking my phone then.

Also, I began feeling pity for her. What if I'm really the wrong side? Or perhaps, like Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine, the dark side?

Then, a text came, but not from her. It was from one of the guys who were asking from me part of my baon, like the Goldilocks in the past part of this story. Let's hide him in the code JS. Sounds like a K-Pop performer though.

JS told me that CM was hurt by our conversation last night and added that she cried all night because of it. I was surprised. When asked how he knew about it, he said that CM had wrongly sent to him a supposed reply to me. She didn't care to reply to me, and instead told the general idea of the conversation to him. Lastly, he advised me to say sorry to her. Magbati na kami, kumbaga.

I knew I was right, and again I got it correct that she was actually affected by what I did. However, pity was erased by the fact she didn't bother replying to me. I remained hard on my stand and said to him that I won't apologize to her. She must apologize to me. I let her understand my situation, but she didn't elaborate to me hers. I'm the one she busted, not the other way around. In the end though, JS did not tell me what CM supposedly replied to me.


End of Part 4

This love story lasted 4 years, 5 months, 1 week, which actually just finished a few days back. Wala na nga lang munang spoiler. Part 4 only covered 3 months. I'm not sure if I'd finish it, though. I have a busy schedule. Still, if you want the subsequent parts, I shall do my best to write it for you. Sorry if I had limited pictures. Limited lang talaga eh. Wala tayong magagawa. I may still try to give some of her images in the following parts for the sake of writing and the readers' visual pleasure (though she might really hate me more for this). My Facebook friends, though, could try search who CM really is. Just don't be cocky about it without my consent.

Most importantly, I needed the feedback. Thank you in advance.

Have a happy December ahead!