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I was debating with a friend whether I would try writing my failed love story with a girl we will hide in the code CM. That friend said I should try, since it is how I moved on in the past, but I am too shy to post it in a blog or in social media, so I decided to use media here in Erepublik, of which will serve as my sort of "test audience" on how people will respond to teenage love stories (Yes, I'm just turning 18, but my age had nothing to do with my administration skills). Besides, its been the holiday season.

It all began one day in 2008 (1st year HS), when I needed to borrow a wheeled dustpan from our neighboring section. If I remember it right, it was her, CM, whom I borrowed that thing. Of course, I'm not really into her yet. Though she's what we locally call morena, I'm only concerned then to finish cleaning the room and get on my way home.

She became my classmate in 2009 (2nd year HS), wherein ever since the first week of classes, I fell for her. She's got this cute smile despite her uneven upper teeth, and the small oval eyeglasses complement with her slightly wavy hair. Still, I kept my feelings because I was afraid she might reject me. If you knew me then, I am the combination of the A+ student, the clown, and the quiet classmate in the corner (what can I do? My surname starts with R, so I really had to be in the back seats). It was June, when classes begin in the Philippines.

It was around November then, and I read a GM (group message) that says infatuation or crush only lasts 3-4 months. By that time, I had a crush on her for 5 months now. What is this now? Crush or love. Even my Christian values teacher says it must have been love (sounds like an old song).

Just around after that, still November, I was linked to another girl we will hide in the code GV. Now, I was just talking with GV through text, and they immediately linked me to her. They were saying I had a crush on that small girl GV. My God, she's way older than me. By that time, she's almost available to vote for 2010 national elections. Age doesn't matter, but I really had set my eyes on CM. So, I told GV, through text, that it was not her but CM whom I had a crush with.

The next day, the whole school knows I had crush with CM.

I don't know how that happened because I'm not really involved in social media then, but some friends tell me thereafter that GV was an expert disseminator of these juicy things about high school love and crush.

Now, coming home that November, I just found out even my parents know I'm falling for CM. My God! I kept this a secret for a long time, and now what? They even gave me 50 pesos to buy CM a gift for the Christmas Party. That was big, because my 200 peso budget was all spent for the exchange gift.

What can you buy in 50 pesos? (sounds like a local commercial)

I bought a pink fish keychain. I heard she likes pink. But, it must be taken note here that from June to December, we have not talked. Literally. I mean, I didn't even hear her voice say my name! We don't even talk in calls. All I had as communication with her was text (SMS) and FB chat!

Anyway, now, come Christmas party. I made a box cut from cardboard, covered in white. If you open this box, you only see half of the ring of the keychain. My friend we'll hide in the code JN even thought I was giving her a real ring. I just put a spongy material to cover the pink fish. Beneath the pink fish was a note on how much I love her, with my signature.

But, I can't give it to her.

She's all with her friends, and I just discovered she had a boyfriend since 1st year HS when I saw a guy come in our room and give her a large gift. Nakakahiya! Ta's may boyfriend pa pala! All I had was a pink fish keychain. So, I just went to try my classmate's PSP. We were then playing Tekken 5, which was so new then. Her bf, if I remember it right, gave me a bad look, but not really a glare or what have you.

JN approached me and aske😛 Why not give it to her?
I sai😛 Nahihiya na ako. Mukhang ayaw naman niya sakin, o sa ibibigay ko. Nakita mo yung regalo ni SO? Gusto mo ikaw na lang magbigay?

SO is the code name I gave for her 1st boyfriend. JN agreed and got the box from me. Until now, I don't know if she ever got the box. She never confirmed that to me. I'm ashamed to ask JN now. He may have forgotten what really happened.

Now, here comes the Christmas dance. Naturally, our classmates will try pairing us. But, what happened?

She didn't want to be my partner.

What I did, I knelt down, on the concrete road, gave a nice smile and sai😛 All I want for Christmas is you. (Which is actually the song that was playing then)
What she did, she backed down, like Cleopatra after taking snake poison, and had to be supported by her friends in order to stand up. In the end, we never danced together. In the future, however, I will try my luck again to have that dance.

If I excitedly watched her when she wore a girl Santa suit (sleeveless, I think) with a checkered red and white miniskirt with her chorale mates, it doesn't mean I'm all bad, right? We were required to watch anyway, and that's what they received as costumes. Though, it was still my choice to be on the front row.


End of Part 1

This love story lasted 4 years, 5 months, 1 week, which actually just finished a few days back. Wala na nga lang munang spoiler. Part 1 only covered the first 6 months. I'm not sure if I'd finish it, though. I have a busy schedule. Still, if you want the subsequent parts, I shall do my best to write it for you. Sorry if I didn't have pictures. I don't want to give her images away (she might hate me more). My Facebook friends, though, could try search who CM really is.

Have a happy December ahead!