[Fear] The Glorious Manifesto of one WayneKerr

Day 2,014, 07:59 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by WayneKerr


Hey ladies Hey fellas and the people that don't give a shit. All the lovers all the haters and all the people that call themselves playas. Hot mammas, pimp daddies and the people rollin' in the Caddies. Hey rockers, hip-hoppers and everybody all around the world...

Today is the day eUK chooses which path to go down. On the left is the path of the same old boring shite... more baw, less war. The path on the right is filled with lulz, good times and stories to excite the eYoung 'uns with. You can guess which path mine is? That's right eUK. The RIGHT path.


Sorry state of affairs

Now those who know me, know that I don't like to bad mouth opponents or belittle their achievements. It's not my style and I certainly won't be drawn into such games. But Mr Woldy, or King Woldy as he named himself is an arrogant, self centered, inactive (unless its time for a CP run), living off glories that happened before most of us had even heard of eRep, individual. From private leaked documents I have discovered that he hasn't got the eUK at heart. He has nothing but the hunger of yet another CP medal in his belly!

For months now the eUK has stuttered and spluttered along the eWorld highways. People laugh at us, they mock our dreams, say we could never achieve our lofty ambitions, but I'm here today eUK to say that we can, and we must! This is why I, WAYNEKERR, am throwing my hat into the ring for CP. For too long we have been the third tier country in eRep, rubbing shoulders with the military might of eMexico, ePortugal and eFinland. Is that where we see the belong? A country as great and as full of awesome players as ours, struggling to contain the Irish? Hell no.

/rant

Now on to the nitty gritty of my plans for a Great eUK.



The eUK's Money

As a lot of you know I'm very security conscious. Once elected all the eUK's gold will be turned in CC, this CC will then be hidden away in a place very few people can access, namely my account. This will prevent any thefts from our nest egg and keep it all in a easy to manage location. I'll be the person solely responsible for the eUK cash, so I won't be needing a Minister of Finance as such, but seeing as butjam likes the attention and the title he can carry on as MoF, using made up numbers and technical jargon to fill in any blanks from my record keeping. He's done this for a number of CP's now and as yet to be caught fiddling the books, so I assume he's pretty good at it.


There will be very little in the way of Government programmes. Basically because when I was a newb I got sod all off the Government and it never did me any harm. Instead I'll be looking at ways to scam more money from the public to boost my our coffers a bit more. One suggestion from the forums is a bit like the 'Spot the ball' competitions, for those of us old enough to remember them. For those not old enough, ask your Mother or Father and those from Wigan, ask your Grandparents they must be in their mid 30's by now. The difference being, that rather than spotting a ball, we'll be using penises and instead of a football match background, we'll be using avatars of Goku Jones, past/present/and multi. This scheme I hope will raise a couple of hundred CC each time.

Matters of Military

Basically Mr Woldy, or King Woldy as his ego likes to be called, will be stealing the idea that I came up with. So rather than waiting for his 'never-never' articles, I thought I'd slap the plans on the table right now for you all to see.

First thing the MoD (Bohemond already knows the plan, probably where Mr Woldy, or King Woldy as he likes to be referred to, found out about the plan) will be doing is going round to MU's such as Royal Marines, Woldy's Warriors and the Royal Dragoons, telling em how crap and pointless they are and offering to buy them out. After speaking with butjam about it, each MU will be offered a maximum of 20g to hand over the MU to the Government.


The Government will then kick everyone from the unit and destroy it. The reason for this, is to coalesce our fighting force into tighter units. Through shit units and shit CO/Captains our damage gets spread left, right and center. Leaving us weak and feeble. Less units and less CO/Captains the less orders floating about in our military. The less orders we have around the place the more our damage is directed where government requires it. Making us strong like ox. Simple, but effective...

The second part is entitled less baw, more war! I'll leave that up to you to interpret... I'll just leave this here. http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/-loathing-how-to-lose-regions-and-alienate-people--2266802/1/20

... and the other ministries

Well most are pointless really...

MoHA. Never understood what this was for, surely we should all be writing about things that have happened, writing guides to help our newbs and nOObs, and coming up with fun and games for the community. So under a Wayne DictatorLeadership, you'll all be in the MoHA.

MoFA. Pretty much the chief role for the CP, so guys like Iain, Kravenn and Talon will find themselves without a role this June (go and enjoy the sunshine boys, I know it's bright, but your eyes will adjust in time). When I'm not around, or pretending to not be around, whoever gets there first can answer questions on the Government's behalf. We are all adults and as such should be treated accordingly. So under a Wayne DictatorLeadership, you are all AmBADASSors/MoFA delegates.

MoE. Didn't even know we had one till Acroc and ApronChef wheeled it out of the Ministry Retirement Home. Hasn't really taken off so can go back there...

MoH. Not a Government Ministry, so fight it out yourselves who get to run that. Just let me know and I'll give you the MoH org, cuz I'm nice like that!


Thats about it really. Any that I forgot, ain't important enough to be remembered so won't be needed. I'll probably release some more in depth ones for those of you struggling to understand, if someone reminds me closer to the date that I'm actually running...



TL😉R (for all you New Era members)
Woldy bad
Wayne good
Vote Wayne