[eCBW] BREAKING NEWS!

Day 4,649, 14:36 • Published in Canada Poland • by TheSocialistChicken


eCANADA'S PREMIERE BUSINESS MAGAZINE SINCE DAY 1790



WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 12th, DAY 4649

IQALUIT IS COLD IN THE WINTER

In a shocking turn of events, it has been revealed to the world and especially to Canadians residing in the south that Iqaluit, the Territorial Capital of Nunavut, is cold in the wintertime.

We attempted to reach out to President Chochi's office for comment on the revelation, but the editorial staff got drunk instead and missed their publication deadline.

These unsubstantiated reports come on the heels of scandalous allegations previously raised that British Columbia's Gulf Islands are hot in the summertime, and that snow is also cold, though as a resident of Vancouver, I do not have the required experience with 'snow' to pass judgement on its composition.

As the current government has no Minister of the Environment, the editorial staff have made a judgement call to just ignore any incoming calls from the parliament buildings, and simply interject without basic facts.





WAR CONTINUES, WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR?

As fighting continues in the south, and training wars continue in the north, the question has been raised by bleeding hearts and hippies alike. What is war good for? It's for good, clean sport is what it's good for, so long as the fighting is conducted under good faith.

As the editorial staff missed their deadline, they did not contact Minister of Defense Exalted Druid, but while they were drinking, they assumed we the Canadian people did just fine on the field of battle and left it at that.






MARKETS STABLE, NO REAL CHANGE. WHEN IS THERE EVER CHANGE

Markets were stable this week, with gold hovering around $517 a bar. In the consumer basket this week, Q7 Food was priced around $7.50 a portion, and Q7 Weapons were $110 a unit.

The cheapest piece of property in the country was listed at $9350.00
The most expensive was listed at $37503.81



I'm back after a year and half, maybe just visiting, maybe not. Can't decide yet. Was supposed to start shooting a film soon, but with everything going on, we've decided to hold off until a vaccine is available.

I assume everything is as it was when I died last time.

As always,

Reporting for the eCanadian Business Weekly, This is TheSocialistChicken. Stay Classy eCanada!