Vote for Stoner Not Some Groaner

Day 5,555, 07:20 Published in USA USA by Socialist Freedom Party
Vote for Stoner, not some groaner

eRep Day 5555 - Election Edition
Song of the week: I Ain't Superstitious


Hey kids!

You are invited to sing along with the howling wolves of the ever-lovin' Socialist Freedom Party in welcoming long-time eRep veteran truth-teller and trouble-maker, Franklin Stoner, to the Presidential Ticket.

Why now? Why him? It's like Franklin says, "Don't sweep me with no broom. I might get put in jail. When my right hand itches, I'll get some money for sure, yeah, when my right hand itches, I gets money for sure. But when my left eye jump, somebody got to go."

Right on, brother Franklin! Right on!





These days, the PP race in the e-USA is little more than the annointing of our next venerable Training Wars manager. A kind of corporate rotation of technocrats. All very rational and orderly. A bit like the methodic, clocklike promotion of assistant vice-presidents in a staid midwestern insurance company.

Well, che, boludos! The dogs are howlin' now all over the neighborhood. And a black cat has crossed our tail. Sometimes if it wasn't for bad luck, we wouldn't have no luck at all. Know what I'm saying? Unh-huh.



Yeah. Shake it up baby!

We all know damn well those training wars will get organized no matter who's the PP, right? Technocrats don't fade away; they just recede back into Discordia for a while. They'll keep right on pushing buttons and keeping the beat. They're the drummer and the bass player.



What we need is some hard-core lead guitar. Well, Dewey or don't we? Wait. What I mean is, as our lawyers over at Dewey, Cheatum and Howe have instructed me to say, "Stoner is the Bon...". No wait. That's not right either. Hold on. Ah right. "In Your Guts, You Know He's Nuts". THAT's the kind of spirit we need! Wait...


Ah. Here is is. "Not Just Peanuts! Vote Stoner for Free Socialist Ponies for Everyone!!"



Oh yeah, This Wheel's on Fire, rolling down the road, baby. This wheel shall explode!









...it's revolutionary!