Dublin can wait, we want Norway!

Day 868, 11:07 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Sir Humphrey Appleby


It would seem remarkably ironic that after Finland’s mindless demonstration of false trust in the EDEN alliance, that their dense half-brother Norway should then follow suit and make a 20 minute bid for the spectacular glens of Scotland (and indeed, the gun-ridden council estates in Glasgow). Similar to the fate that awaited Finland in their endeavours towards our friendly neighbourhood Russians, we can expect that Norway has opened itself up to the collective might of our nine MPPs and own personal military.

Or will they?

Naturally there is almost always a twist to these sorts of things and after quickly scanning the Norwegian news, it became clear that their new President was the subject of a PTO, orchestrating multiple accounts and foreign voters to get in and secure his leadership. Upon victory, he attacked/retreated on both us and the Russians – with the thanks of the Norwegian people in the form of a vote of impeachment. The Admins have been alerted and we can await the great banhammer of justice to come crushing down on the Norwegian head of state.

Or will they?

The problem presented to Norway is, for the time being, they are subject to attack from our new Prime Minister and the Russian President, with support of 7 very powerful allies. The newfound British desire for oil is one to be reckoned with and I’m sure the Russians wouldn’t mind a share of the spoils either. If the Admins bother themselves with the arduous task of intervening in the Norwegian crisis and reverting the militaristic implications of these two attacks then where does that leave us and the new British Valhalla Consulate?

So what do we do?

Naturally, with the inclusion of the Admins and the organisation in Norway of a de facto Government we need to act quickly. Instant deployment of the Royal Navy and Para-troopers with our 7 esteemed allies will quickly overcome the Norwegian defences and secure a new British colony in Scandinavia. The Norwegians don’t have too many regions to take over, and with the current focus of EDEN in other parts of the world and the eUSA pulling a fast one on their membership of such an alliance – things will look very grim for Norway indeed.

Ireland can wait for a few weeks, I’ve always wanted an alpine holiday-villa.