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Genesis-

In the beginning Admin created the heavens and the earth. And the earth then was digitised and waste and darkness over the deep and a powerful interwebs, and Admin said, 'Let there be eNations.' And there were eNations.

And as Admin returned to the clouds to smite Channers and Multi's, all the Beardless ePeople were left to the eWorld naked and hairless. They gathered around a solitary stone upon which was inscribed the WiseBeardCommandments



I- Thou Shalt Not Shave
And Admin gave unto Beardless a great gift, the gift of facial hair. And Admin said to Beardless, you shall grow Beard. You shall grow Beard long. You shall not shave stubble nor goatee nor moustache nor full bodied beard . And Admin said, thou beard ist wise. And Beardless said, I shall grow Beard, and he was Beardly.

II- Thou Shalt Maintain Beard Hygiene
Now Admin said to Beardly, you must preserve the hygiene of the WiseBeard. And Beardly said why. And Admin said unto him, you will house entire ecosystems in your beard. You will catch crumbs, small birds, conceal weapons and store supplies for the Winter in the WiseBeard. Therefore, Admin said, you shall was and condition at least twice a day. But Admin said, blessed are the Bearded for they are the Wisest. And it was good.

III- Thou Shalt Stroke Beard For Additional Wisdom
And Beardly asked of his beard, for he had heard that Wisdom was scarce in the eWorld. And Admin said unto him, you shall stroke your beard for additional wisdom and people will be awed. And Beardly asked if all this was really necessary. And Admin laughed a mighty laugh and said to Beardly, he who attempts to avoid stroking his beard shall be slammed with a frozen tuna. And Beardly understood and stroked his beard. And he earned a wisdom multiplier.



IV- Thou Shalt Wear Your Beard In Crazy Fashions
And then Beardly asked Admin, Admin how do I look like a Wise Bearded Man. And Admin said unto Beardly, you must wear your beard in crazy fashion, for eccentricity is the essence of all WiseBeardPeople. And you shall be nutty. Beardly asked Admin, "What kind of fashion should it be?" And Admin said, "You shall endeavour to tie-die, plait, twist and curl it into many forms and shapes, but never repeat the same fashion." And Beardly was pleased and Admin was pleased.



V- Thou Shalt Endorse Communism
And next Beardly asked Admin of Government and how which party Beardly should join. And Admin said to Beardly, thou shalt be a Communist. And Beardly was confused but Admin explained to him. Said Admin, only Communism shall accept the way of the WiseBeard. You will wear your beard in protest, in riot, in rally and ballot. You will fight and oppose those with an anti-Beard agenda, for they are Pro-Shaven and should be put to the sword. And Beardly began to weep so Admin gave him Marx's Das Kapital.



VI- Thou Shalt Preach The Way Of The WiseBeard
Beardly asked unto Admin if there were any task he must undertake given that he was a little busy and all this commanding was eating up precious COD4 time, but Admin said to him, "You shall travel to the ends of the eWorld and spread the way of the WiseBeard. So Beardly went forth and spread the word of the WiseBeard.

VII- Thou Shalt Propogate
Beardly then asked of marriage. And Admin said, Beardly, you shall place an advert and be happy. Your advert shall read, "wise, bearded man seeks unbearded women for companionship, will accept bearded women." You shall go forth and propagate. You shall create little WiseBeardBoys and WiseBeardGirls and bring them to the eWorld. And Beardly became happy and said, "giggity, giggity". And it was good.

VIII- Thou Shalt Login
Beardly inquired of his obligations and Admin reminded him that he should be spreading the way of the WiseBeard. But Beardly said he wanted to do other things and didn't have to spend all day in the eWorld. So Admin said unto him, you shall log on periodically, only to see that nothing has changed. You shall do this at the strangest of times, from earliest more to latest of night. You shall delay social engagements to login. And Beardly asked why he delay is other life for the eWorld, and Admin told him not to ask questions. And Beardly understood His wisdom.

IX- Thou Shalt Be Confused
Admin said unto Beardly, there will come many a day when you shall login and not understand why half your eNation has been disappeared into another eNation. You will not know why your eNation has launched an attack against a neighbour even though they are destined to loose. You will not know why your leaders are clearly suicidal. And Beardly was disturbed by this, but Admin said, you shall fight for your eNation without rage quitting, for you are of the WiseBeard. And Beardly understood and Admin sipped his Red Bull.



And Admin gave Beardly the final Commandment

X- Thou Shalt Be Continually Frustrated By The Headless Chicken
And Beardly wished to hear the final commandment and Admin said he would not like it. But Beardly insisted, so Admin said unto him, you shall praise the headless chicken. Admin said, Beardly, my servers are small. You will be frustrated by our servers breaking down like a heroin addict going through withdrawal. You will hate us for removing the hospital exploit. You will hate us for introducing V2 to which Beardly wept. But Admin comforted Beardly saying, I will smite the with the banhammer. And Beardly understood.