Open letter to Rosa

Day 3,711, 20:23 • Published in USA USA • by MaryamQ


Dear Rosa,

As your comment on my most recent article was too long to address properly in the comment section, let me attempt to do so here. I quote your post in its entirety in italics.

Dear MaryamQ, is it love you feel when you are taking behind my backs on your Discord channel, as a friend informed me?

It is hard to answer this when I don’t know exactly what was said at the time, so cannot remember what I was feeling, but I can assure you I have continually felt love for SFP and most of its members for a long time. It is much more difficult to behave lovingly to people who attack them individually and collectively, but I do try, at least until my patience has been exhausted.

Is it love when your friends publish false accusations & slander me in public?

Again, I don’t know what you are claiming as false accusations and slander. I think even you must admit that I have never attacked you personally. I have, however, seen countless attacks, false accusations, and slanders from you and chickensguys directed at my friends. I have seen homophobic slurs, racist comments, accusations of fascism, and on and on. Yes, I have seen some of them react in kind, but as I saw it, their comments were provoked by you, not once, but repeatedly and continuously. I love my friends here. I love my RL LGBTQ friends and family. Although it is a learning process for a white woman from a very white state, I do my best to be sensitive to racial issues. If I have to choose whom to treat lovingly, it will not be those who attack others on these issues, falsely or otherwise.

Is it love when your dear friend Tyler Bubblar harasses me in almost every comment in my articles & now even with shouts to his friend? Or those nasty ad hominem trolling coming from TheNorm?

This is somewhat puzzling, honestly. I would not call Tyler Bubblar my dear friend. I have had very little interaction with him, and some of it has not been particularly friendly on my side. It is only recently that I have come to appreciate some of his good qualities.

As for TheNorm, I know him to be one of the kindest, most generous people I have ever known. If he makes nasty, ad hominem attacks, I know it is not unprovoked, and it is usually because he sees a party he has loved and worked for way before you showed up there is being destroyed.

How can you justify people calling someone mentally ill, just to discredit him?
Is this acceptable?

No, this is not acceptable. I am myself subject to chronic major depression, as are several members of my family. I have friends in-game who are bipolar and have been mercilessly bullied. I have had a friend from the game who was struggling with his sexual identity and drug abuse, who committed suicide about a year ago. One of my dearest friends in game has autistic members in her family One of my nephews has Down syndrome. I have fought for many years against people who attacked others on the basis of their sexuality, mental or physical illness or disability. Nobody knows who is on the other side of the screen or what burdens they may be carrying in real life. However, I will point out that you are not without guilt on this score yourself.

And is it love when you bully against me, present lies in form of "you do this & that" without proof, without reason.

Show me when and where I have done that. Even my articles, which you sometimes choose to take personally, have not mentioned you by name and are mostly about general principles.

It's not! It's hateful & sick!

Again, if I did that, you could say it was hateful, but not that it was unprovoked.

You are trying very hard to picture yourself as some kind of moral authority, your articles are sweet.mouthed & seducing. It's a quality role play, my dear, it doesn't depict you how you are!
Because you are vindictive, when it comes to silent someone who asks provoking questions, who dares to question authority. Then you say yes to exclusion, blacklisting & bans!

Frankly, I don’t care how you see me. I am not a moral authority, although I am fascinated by questions of morals and ethics. Those who actually know me can judge for themselves whether my game play matches my character. I can say that I have no problem with asking provoking questions and questioning authority. I do so myself from time to time. My problem is with people who poison the community with a continuous stream of filth and lies. I did say yes to removing you and chickensguys from Discord and the forum, but not before you had become so toxic that you were driving others away from the party, and not without a majority vote of the RC created according the constitution that you claim to honor. In addition, I did not propose this, nor would I ever have done so, but it was not hard to see the necessity for the good of the party. In this case, it was a matter of choosing the greater good over the rights of individuals.

And you are double-faced, because your weapon of not facing a debate with arguments is ignoring the same.

I have seen that arguments carry no weight with you. You do not debate. You rant. I have consciously avoided feeding into that. If that makes me double-faced, so be it.

And you are dishonest, because you don't see it necessary to judge your friends by the same criteria you judge me.

Honestly, I try not to be judgmental toward anyone; however, while I don’t always agree with what my friends say to and about you, it is not hard to see that they didn’t start this fight. If they attacked first, without provocation, I would not stand by that. In fact, I would be more likely to defend and befriend you. Unfortunately, that is not what I see happening.

Tell me please: why did I deserve to be treated like this? Why are you treating chickensguys the same way? And what did Harcourt do do deserve all that trash-talking against him, being bullied out of the SFP?

I think the questions about you and chickensguys have been adequately addressed here and elsewhere. It might surprise you to know that chickensguys and I engaged in a very civil debate on Discord recently, in which others were present and also remained civil. If you and he always behaved the way he behaved that night, nobody in the party would have any problem with you. On the other hand, also recently, several of us were subjected to really nasty PMs by your alternate personalities. You can deny it, if you wish, but there are multiple witnesses to your behavior, not only in SFP, but also in the Feds chat, and possibly elsewhere. I won’t publish what you wrote to me because it could get me a forfeit point, and the only one I have previously got was for standing on principle years ago, but rest assured, we do have screen shots.

Harcourt is a separate issue. I am not sure where you got your information, but I did not see any trash talking and bullying at all, and again, I think there are quite a few people who can corroborate my version of this. Instead, without going into detail, because the dialog is not mine to share, there was information presented to the RC that was not aimed at Harcourt at all, but which he chose to take personally. Unfortunately, in doing so, he did make personal attacks against the messenger, and that triggered an unpleasant dialog which ended in Harcourt’s decision to leave despite others’ assurances that he was welcome to stay.

Is it because they see me being in the right? Is it because they dare to support me? Is it because they have integrity & don't bow to that "hammer of reason" you swing?

I think I can say unequivocally no to these questions. Party members are permitted, even encouraged, to think for themselves, and are judged on their own merit. Harcourt, in particular, would still be welcome to full activity in the party if he had not chosen to leave.

I know you will probably not respond to this comment, because you ignore questions you can not answer.
So I shall leave you with this: try not to judge other people before making sure you don't make the same mistakes as they do. Try not to lecture others because of same practices you use.

Apparently you are mistaken. I am responding, point by point, despite my usual attempts not to feed into your little self-generated drama. I am aware I make mistakes. If you know anyone in eRepublik who doesn’t, please let us know, and we will nominate him/her for sainthood. I am also comfortable with my own integrity and the respect I have earned in many places in the game. If my statements of my philosophy come across as lecturing, I am sorry. I am merely trying to focus dialog in an area that has always interested me and which was inspired by things recently written by RF Williams.

And try to accept that everyone has the right to play this game as he/she wishes!

I do accept that, have always accepted that, but I do not believe that right extends to destroying the game for other players. If that is what I perceive you to be doing, be assured, I will continue to fight you.