Love/Hate

Day 709, 08:01 • Published in USA USA • by Hampton H. Hampton

So yesterday I figured out I am in a Love/Hate relationship with my alarm clock.

You see I've had it for over half of my life, I got it when I was 15ish, so it's been around a while. Hell most of my socks aren't that old. It's been waking me up without fail bright and early every morning for like, 18 years. It plays good music most of the time when I get up. In fact, you know what? Come to think of it, It was right there with me when I lost my virginity. Talk about an alarm clock that has been with me through thick and thin. It was there for my paper route, it was there for REALLY EARLY baseball practice. (Which sucked btw, it was mostly for infielders and pitchers so I would just run the whole time since I was an outfielder, how much shape do you need to be in to play ball? I mean do you remember when John Kruck played?)

Anyway, I'm stunned this thing still works after all these years. It's the kind with the red light up numbers and plays the radio or that buzzing noise. I never set it for the buzzing noise. Good ole classic "Clock/alarm/radio" I really love thing. It's tan, a nice neutral color so it goes with any decore.

I really hate my alarm clock. When that fucking thing goes off in the morning I swear I can hear it laughing at me behind the sounds of the music it plays. I wanna sleep damnit! But, NO, that fucker blares, and blares, and blares. I know it's just doing it's job, but does it have to enjoy it so much? I swear one of thses days I'm going to bust the shit out of it while screamming "BEERRRTTT BEERRRRTTTT BEERRRTTTT" then I'll be like "WHOS MAKING ALARM NOISES NOW BITCH?" You remeber that scene in Office Space when they smash that fax or whatever? I wouldn't smash my alarm clock like that or anything, I just though of that scene and wanted to know if you remember it too, it was a good scene.

I seriously hate it. I always cuss it out in the mornings, then sometimes at night on the weekends when I dont have to get up the next day I cuss it out that night, cause I win that day, yes I do. I bet it's pissed those days. I also bet it loves those weekend days when I do need to wake up, that fucker just loves those bonus days I'm sure.

Thats it, except please don't go see GI Joe the movie, ever, at all in any way shape or form, don't even listen to the book on tape, or read the book (if there is one)

Hampton H. Hampton