Fail Train and what not

Day 637, 13:15 Published in USA USA by Hampton H. Hampton

My plan today was to speak about the awful Fail Train Emerick rode off into the sunset on with this whole failed peace treaty idea. Not just the fact that it failed but the fact that he blindsided every American with it when he announced that peace was declared even though it wasn't. I also thought I would talk about how it confused the shit out of most Americans and drove many of them to leave the country and seek citizenship elsewhere. But I don't wanna beat the dead horse that is Emerick.

I also thought maybe I would talk up my Militia, it's going well tommorrow there will be 9 of us at fighting strength. I have a weapons supplier hooking me up for under the mrket cost, which I may add there has been a steep drop in weapons prices since Emerick gift wrapped up Americas nut sack and gave it to PEACE. Of course they simply kicked it right back leadign many Americans to simply give up due to their lack of faith in our Government.

I though maybe I would reitterate that you, and I'm not just speaking to eAmericans here I'm speaking to the entire populace of eRepublik, under no circumstance should you ever, EVER go see the GI Joe movie. You would have a better time getting your nuts shaved by a Grizzly Bear than you would at this movie. I'll go into a few details why, well really one GOD AWFUL scene as to why you DO NOT EVER WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE!!

I'm not telling you spoilers here, there is nothing to spoil, it's bad, just bad awful puke bad.

So GI Joe, in the comics were Head Quartered in Springfield, right down the road form the Simpsons(First person to respond with the Simpson correct street address wins absolutly nothing) But not in the Movie, nope, they are in Eygpt cause who needs that American flag waving around behind the words "GI Joe" on every box the toys come in when you can simply move to Eygpt. So anyway, they have this beyond all you can beleive top secret base there, most of the Joe's themselves don't even know where it is, hence the reason only 8 GI Joes appear in the film. Funny as a kid I recall they had a few more than that. There are shit ton of guys running around in camo, who to behonest should have just worn red Star Trek uniforms because they were simply cannon fodder, but they aren't "real" Joes.

They have the best everything you can get, even shit you can only get in movies, shit Q from James Bond would blow a nut if he got his hands on it. So COBRA figures out where they are because a brief case deep down underground in the "Pit" as the Joe base is called, sends out a signal so strong it can be picked up deep under the ice of the North Pole on the ocean floor there where the Cobra base is. Sos the COBRAS drive these huge drilling machines though the ground and crash through the wall, the Joes, with all their top secret holy shit thats awsome gear, mistake said drilling machines for 3 camels and some dude a few miles away. Mmmmm close.

Oh also when they smash though the wall, no alrams go off but a guard standing there does get run over, I guess who needs an alram when you can just have some guy stand there guarding a wall 20 stories underground, that guy pissed off someone in command to get that exciting job, but hey turns out that was where the action was. Now apparently the action was not twenty feet away, where another guard was standing. And as the COBRAS climbed out of their ginormous huge ass drilling machines, that are easily mistaken for three camels and some dude, they begin talking over their plan while Storm Shadow walks over to the Guard and kills him. The guy never moved, I have no idea what he could have been thinking that whole time but it sure as hell wasn't "I am an Elite Soldier in the most top secret base ever and I know what I'm doing"

More jackassery and dipshittedness ensues, It's verysimular to "Team America: World Police" only the acting is better in Team America. Oh also they reuse the set from the Rebel base on Hoth from Empire Strikes Back, which was neat to see again. Overall I give it a 1/2 star for Cleveage, would have gotten a whole star for a boob.

So to sum up, Emerick = Fail train, Balla's Bastards eUSA Milita is doing well, and GI Joe the movie sucks worse than the curent eUSA situation.