dun dun dun THE ZAPHODS ARE IN TOWN

Day 2,060, 08:50 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Zaphod Beeblebrox IV


That's right folks, you've heard of the Tonys, the Oscars, the Emmys; well now there is a brand new eUK themed monthly awards honouring our dysfunctional populace. The Zealous Awards that are not Pretentiously Honouring Our Dastardly Sex-God (or Zaphods for short) are a great chance to have some lulz and hopefully liven up this barren media. More importantly they are directly in opposition to the snooze-fest which is the honours system.

There are two types of awards on offer. The community awards - nominated and voted on by you, the disgusting general public, and the lolwut awards which are entirely decided by me and are infinitely more important. Let me describe to you what each community award entails.

Best Journalist - simple really, whoever you think consistently writes the best articles.
Craziest Tank - not just the biggest hitter, but the kind of guy who will randomly hit 300mil for South Africa or refuse to hit on a Sunday. The more unreliable and downright odd, the better.
Most Value-for-money Politician - in an age where congress just vote how they are told to vote and countless promises go ignored in CP terms, who is the politician you can count on to give an thought-out and useful contribution to society?
Greatest Immigrant - the eUK is a diverse place. Who is our best signing to the country? (Note: they can either be someone who does not live in the UK in real life or someone who has immigrated from another erep nation).
Most Blatant Multiier - when it's just so obvious it hurts...
Most Lovable Pumpkin - that guy/gal everyone loves and just wants to take home to meet mother and eat toasted marshmallows at the hearth.
Greatest Zinger - the person who always has the best put-downs and one-liners at hand to destroy many an argument.
Most Tedious Commenter - when you see them comment on an article you automatically skip/fall asleep/want to harm yourself.
Most Erotic Player - the person who makes your ovaries and gentlemen's excuse me twitch like a hyperactive squirrel at the very mention of their name.
Most Loved Oversees Player - not an euk citizen, but someone who we all love and want in the euk immidiately.

You can nominate candidates for any of these ten awards here. Nominating will last two days after which I will choose three candidates for each category to vote on. It won't necessarily be the three with the most nominations - convincing arguments will also be taken into account. I will then open a vote - the winner is simply the person with the most votes.

SO

WHAT CHU WAITING FOR?

GET NOMINATING!!!!!1!!!!!111!!!!1! ! !



EDIT:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1GlDLLyAJY43Wb6rzRan10AT_MFTmDklnkxCulxXIfM0/viewform - nominate here, I will still accept responses in comments though 😛