[Pichu Gaz.] Bigger, Stronger and Newsier!

Day 3,536, 21:30 • Published in USA Serbia • by chriscoded


Hello eUSA, and the rest of the eRepublik!
Welcome back to Issue 3 of The Pichu Gazette!

Since the issue was ready, and all the people who currently have pending interviews are likely busy and unable to send all their responses to me, there will be no interview this issue. Hopefully, we may be able to have two next time. I’m sorry.

To make up for that, I have an extra long issue with a new small segment and a pretty interesting story.
Recent Headlines
Ukraine UN-Conquered! A follow-up on a previous story, Ukraine has freed one of its regions (likely from Romania, Moldova or Montenegro). It’s not a US region, so we do not have much to worry about until they start to muster more strength. It may even be beneficial to take more of Ukraine so we can get a bit more cash from our already quite valuable holdings there. But still, good job on getting freedom again Ukraine (and thanks for not taking it from us).
Ukraine RE-Conquered. Yeah we took Basarabia. Not a big surprise, as we can't let them pick up steam in their Liberation, because then we may lose the region if it goes too well. Unlikely but possible.
The eUSA conquered New Zealand. The country, having been split between the United Arab Emirates and New Zealand, is now completely eUSA territory. While it seems to be about half as profitable as Ukraine is for the eUSA, it may be a valuable asset if we ever do an Australian/Asian/Indonesian conquest. But, since any major conquests are seemingly unlikely, I doubt this was the reason. The official reason I heard is that it was to secure a border, which is especially believable with how militarily idle we’ve been.
Bosnia is Back? B+H is back, and slowly taking their land back from Serbia. I am all in favor of small countries freeing themselves from huge empires. Unless it’s ours because AMERICA! But, great job to Bosnia and I hope you guys hold onto your territory for a long time.
Cuban Egypt, and some Speculation.
Cuban-Egypt, is a situation I found confusing from the moment I heard of it. I mean, Cuba being a Middle-Eastern Power is an idea that I find pretty crazy. But I found even crazier things when I began to dig in. It seems that Cuba is paying to hold onto that portion of Egypt. But why are they doing it? Cuba isn’t that strong, and they have their original territory in tact. I have 2 theories on this. Theory 1 is that this is something from old eRep politics I don’t understand. Something like a Serbian or Egyptian government takeover. Theory 2, which I find more believable, is that Cuba wants to be an empire, and is waiting to attack. Or was, until Bulgaria (a WAY stronger country) and Egypt (the ones they’re buying from) surrounded them. At this point, it’s a mystery why they still do.
However, it is not a mystery anymore, as I recently asked the current president of Cuba, Janty F, about it. He responded by saying, “we have a Training War agreement with Egypt, and part of the agreement is that we return them their taxes. As you can see, it is not much for both countries, but it is generally a sign of good will towards both countries to do so 🙂 .” While this is a lot less exciting than Cuba trying to take over everything, it still has paid off. While the Cubans have few people, their average level is a very respectable 59, although Egypt’s is still… 5. Clearly, since this deal worked out for Cuba, it could also work well for the eUSA Especially since our average level is much lower than some of the stronger countries in the top slots.
Thank you to Janty F for telling me this and letting me put it in this issue! 😃
Current Congress
The MPP’s with Russia, Finland, Taiwan, Slovenia and Romania are all, in my opinion, good ideas. All 3 are strong countries that could likely, if angered, put up a fight with the USA. So it’s a good idea to keep them on our side.
Donating to the CBO is starting to seem a little bit crazy. They have a very large amount of money in a personal account instead of the treasury, and it makes me curious and almost scared as to what goes on in the CBO. While I won’t publish exact numbers due to me realizing it’s not the best idea, we shouldn’t have that much money in the CBO. From what I know, one person runs the CBO, so who knows what the heck they’re doing. It’d be a lot more reliable to keep it in the US treasury. Especially since there are few threats of dictators who will try and steal from the Treasury.
Congressional Elections are Over! I’ve heard predictions that the SFP is going to be up in the polls and I hope it’s true, because I kind of want that seat. If i get into congress, I will make sure you know how I vote, and will try to keep the public updated on all non confidential matters.
Having our Natural Enemy set to Ukraine meant two things. The first is that we had a boost in RW’s, and the second is that we had a boost when taking Basarabia. Taking Basarabia was not a bad thing, and it’ll mean that we have more of Ukraine, and Romania will have less. It also means it’ll take longer to free themselves, and we’ll get more money from Ukraine.
The MPP’s with Portugal and Sweden don’t seem too necessary, but is definitely a nice thing to have, and is far better than to have declined it and have them ally with the Serbs.
Having New Zealand as our Natural Enemy makes a lot of sense. We have a lot more trouble with them when we do with since we already lost Otago after about a week.
Chris in Congress? Yep, I’m 99% sure I will be in Congress this term. Thank you all for voting for me, not just in the SFP primaries, but voting for the SFP in congress. If you voted for any party, thank you! If not… w-why?
SFP News
I’m just starting a little segment for me and my comrades in the SFP, and you can just hop to Speculation Corner if you don’t want to read this.
First off, we have the Congressional Election Results! The most likely outcome is that the SFP will get 9 seats, up from last term, and sitting in the 9th seat is me! So this term the SFP will be a more present force in the Congress, and we will do as we always did to guarantee the eUSA is the best it can be with the other congressmen and citizens.
Another thing is that there are still those Daily Rations, Daily Training Ground Gold, and Weekly Q1 Houses! These will all help lower level and higher level players alike to climb higher up, and make all players stronger. These can be found in the Party Feed, and the houses can be found in the market, just buy them from hoss.
Speculation Corner
My first idea for this issue is just taking over Oceania. For Australia, this wouldn’t be much of an issue. The 2 regions they hold onto are very weak, and they only have 4 allies. On top of that, they are insanely weak. (Being under Malaysia.) Indonesia is a bit more of a problem, but still, they are not strong enough to hold back an American attack if one was thrown at them, even with their impressive citizen counts. We can’t take Peru or Hungary’s territories, since their an ally. Heck, Indonesia would also likely be helped by Hungary, since they seem to be NE’d and not on the best terms. The Philippines have so little territory and allies, that it’d be like taking New Zealand was. And taking Malaysia would probably be even easier than that! So, with New Zealand’s conquering can come a whole Australian/Oceanic Conquest.

Another thing I think would be good to think of is a “Mutual Ukraine Pact”. We both just attack Ukraine as a team. If they gain power it’s bad news for us both, since we both own territory there. We could help each other keep our stakes in Ukraine. It’d be profitable for all sides, and would strengthen our ties with Romania. Heck, we might even have solid help conquering Basarabia, or have a war to help out in. It’d help out in a few ways, and give the MU’s a liiiiiiiiiiiiittle bit of action. Although, since we may be trying to take Basarabia and we’re already allied with Romania, this deal may never get off the ground.

I was reading an article and I realized it had a bit about a unified North American Empire or a Strengthened North American Union that isn't just one country. I think it’d be an amazing idea for several reasons, if everyone got involved. First of all, it’d bring a large amount of resource and economic wealth to all citizens of each country, more so to Cuba, Mexico and Canada than to the US. Secondly, the North American Branch would very likely have the best army size out there, boasting the forces of 4 countries, one already in the top 5 countries. On top of all that, Canada would definitely not need to sell land to Romania and Serbia anymore. A conglomerate North American State would easily be able to fund a large player base with a huge economy and would be the best manufacturer, with every available resource from America and Canada being accessible as long as you has citizenship of the North American Union (and they’d have Neodymium from kicking Romania out). The only problem is that we’d all have to rally under one flag, which would likely have to be the USA’s (strongest, most territory, most resources). If we’re lucky, Egypt may let the North American Empire continue with Cuba’s training war deal, so that we can have high divisions and low divisions to one day possibly match the Serbs and Slovenians. However, the negatives may be quite large as well. It would, unless very carefully balanced and constructed, just be the American Empire, as the US Political Parties all heavily outnumber Mexican, Cuban and Canadian ones. On top of that, there is a sense of nationalism that may impact Canada and Mexico, since a lot of their players are likely natives to their countries (since Cuba doesn’t have the best internet, this wouldn’t be much of an issue there). On top of that, players would all have to immigrate to the flagship country, which may mean that some hardcore anti-NAU could seize dictatorial power and threaten us (and possibly ally with the Serbs for one hell of a war). To counter this negative, we could simply install our own dictatorships in each of the countries, and have them be appointed ministers who relay all taxes to the flagship country/North American Union. This would net our appointees a nice reward, and would make sure all money from the member states goes to the North American Union. Overall, I think a North American Union would be a really cool concept that would help all people in the region.

Looking back over this when I was expanding this article, with feedback from my pals over at the SFP writer’s guild, I realized that this form of the plan is pretty crazy… Another possibility that could happen is that all 4 countries can form an alliance stronger than an MPP. All four could send representatives (likely the CPs and the SoFA’s of each country) into a group chat and would ask for aid. The deal is that offering aid will usually make it possible to get aid in return. With this version of the plan, we can help our North American allies and be relatively certain that when we need it, they will be at our side. It also may become easier to coordinate military attacks and conquest. It could even help Canada, Mexico and Cuba gain stable international holdings, bolstering North America and making everyone more powerful, which benefits everyone. More territory = More money = More aid, in theory at least. We could even still try and sneak in on Cuba’s training war deal.
Here’s an idea that we’d have to do in secret. I call it Operation Sunset. What is this weirdly named operation? Well, sunsets have red in them, and the plan is to help some people to get that sun to set. The plan is to semi-officially back RWs against Serbia, if not officially backing Serbian RWs. Whether we just kick Serbia out of certain regions, or if we help arrange deals to hold onto territory for countries, and return 90-100% of their taxes, making it so they aren’t totally screwed over by Serbia’s invasion, and then return it when the Serbian threat has decreased by a bit. If making deals directly is too risky, we can use another country in the region to do it, and possibly pay them so that they have an incentive to do it. At the very least, I want to kick them out of Argentina. Another thing I would want to do before we even start this is try negotiate to get Serbia out of Yukon and away from the USA border. They could then not immediately annex us once they catch on. Operation Sunset should be a major goal, and not a small thing that we can check off. I think while it would be hard, and possibly backfire, it is an option we should consider.
That's a wrap on issue 3! I'm sorry if the info is slightly outdated in some situations, since I wrote parts of this days ago, and parts today. I tried making it as good as possible, but with such a big issue, I could not do that easily. I hope you all enjoyed, and have a good day, til' you read again!