Join the new world

Welcome to another exciting issue of the Black Order Press! Today, we’re going to pick the mind of a great eAmerican! She’s proud, she’s horny, she’s the Federalist Party President. She’s FUNGERBUNS!!! Pauses a moment I mean… FINGERGUNS!!!



Fingerguns was sitting in her office, working on the latest Federalist Article, when somebody knocked on her door. She got up and opened the door to find no one outside. When she turned around after closing the door, a ninja clad in crimson garbs holding a notepad and pen was standing several feet behind her. She jumped backwards a little bit, startled by the ninja’s sudden appearance. ”Dear Dio.. Don’t do that, Crimson! You nearly gave me a heartattack!” Fingerguns said with her hand over her chest, trying to catch her breath.

Crimsonninja removed his mask, revealing a smirk on his face. ”My apologies. Just wanted to interview you.”

Once she caught her breath and regained her composure, she took a step closer to the ninja. ”Fire away.”



Interview



My first question for you is... what... is your favorite color?

Purple, obvs. I'd give second place to crimson. It's a good color.

Why thank you! I love both colors as well! 😁 Next, how'd you get started in the game? What brought you to the game and what was the first thing that you set out to do once you got a handle of the game?

I feel like I've always been a Fed in my heart, I just didn't have a name for it. I had a dream one night about Alexander Hamilton humping a headless Romanian chicken and when I woke up, I felt this sudden impulse to join a crappy browser game and turn it into a surprisingly important part of my life.

Tries, and fails, to stifle a laugh I wonder if that's why every fed joined the party...

I think so. I mean, don't you think it's interesting that we're all coming back at the same time? It's in our blood.

Most definitely! Speaking of returning, after taking a hiatus from the game, you rejoined the Feds, great decision on your part 😛, and instantly ran for Party Prez. What were you hoping to accomplish this term, as well as in the grand scheme of things?

I wasn't actually planning on winning. There was so little activity in the party and the sitting party leadership was holding all their cards very close to their chests. There was like this culture of suspicion and deception that was very weird and certainly not what I was used to in the Feds. I ran for PP with this crazy idea in the hopes it would wake people up and give me a good idea of what the party really had going on. It worked, but then Melissa Rose dropped out so I had to very quickly change gears and get serious about leading the party. But, I feel very comfortable in the driver's seat of the Feds. It was an easy transition, but I just wasn't expecting it.

And you've been doing a fantastic job thus far! I hope to see more terms like this in the future! How do you feel about the way the game has changed since you last played? Think these changes are for the better or for the worse?

I could go on for days about this. I mean the main difference is a smaller population and that's not necessarily bad, it's just different. The Feds have changed a lot, but I think we're still the same party at our core. We just needed to remember.

And remember we shall! Finally, I'm gonna ask you the same thing I asked Paul. What advice can you give rising stars and political hopefuls?

Be active in the media. Write articles, leave a lot of comments on other people's articles, work that shout feed. This is a social game and every political leader is criticized almost exclusively on the frequency and content of their media. It doesn't matter what they did behind closed doors, all that matters is how they communicated. We are writing our history as we go.

Writing our history as we go... I like that. There's no better historian for our lives then.. well... ourselves lol. Wouldn't you agree?

Absolutely! I have burnout brain so I forget a lot of things. If it weren't for all of these articles and posts and things, I really wouldn't remember anything that has happened in erep. And honestly, even with all the media, I still forget and have to fill in a lot of blanks with whateverthefuck. Usually Fed stuff. The party is the center of my being.

I thought it was the center of the universe lol. That concludes the interview! Thank you for allowing me to interview you, fingerguns!

Anytime, CN! Love ya!



”Wait… One more thing.” Crimsonninja said.

Fingerguns lifted an eyebrow. ”What? You’re going to challenge me to a fight like you did with Paul?”

Crimson let out a laugh. ”No no no. Nothing like that.” Crimson reassured her.

”Then wh-” She started to ask as Crimsonninja took a step forward and kissed her. As he took a couple of steps back, he grinned at fingerguns. Flustered, she said, ”Wh… What? You little…”

As she pulled out a can of pepperspray, Crimson threw a smoke bomb down and vanished.



Thank you for reading this article! Thank you to fingerguns for allowing me to interview her! As always, be sure to subscribe to the Black Order Press! Also, do yourselves a favor: subscribe to fingerbanged and show fingerguns some love!