Where we have been; where we are going

Day 5,249, 19:12 • Published in USA USA • by MaryamQ



I have been around for a long time, both in eRepublik and in RL.



In RL, I cast my first vote 50 years ago, for a candidate who lost. Since I am politically progressive in a country that is anything but, that has been a recurring experience; yet, I continue to vote in almost every election, including local ones. One side of my family has been in New England since the 1630s; the other, in Nova Scotia since the 1750s. Relatives have served in almost every war since, including a cousin who was a Medal of Honor recipient, and a grandfather who won a Military Medal fighting for Canada. I have had classmates and friends who served in Vietnam, willingly or unwillingly. One of them died earlier this year, believing his sons were both harmed by his exposure to Agent Orange. I have a grandson who enlisted in the Navy right out of high school and is now married and in automotive school, paid for by veterans' benefits. I hate war. I also have 2-year-old twin grandchildren whom I just met last month, and another on the way later this year. I have several family members and more friends who are LGBTQ+. I have a nephew with Down syndrome and several accompanying medical conditions. I hate that all of them have suffered in one way or another from toxic politics.






When I joined eRepublik, it promised that I could be anything I wanted to be, and I could help to build a New World. To some degree, that promise has been fulfilled. I have done many things I would never have done in RL, and honestly have had fun doing many of them. I have met a wide variety of people from a wide variety of places, and learned from them about their views of the world. I have made friends of quite a few of them, some of them becoming RL friends, as well. For the most part, I have been able to get along well with other players, even those whose lives and views were very different from my own. This has been my favorite part of the game.





Even so, there have always been toxic players and trolls who seemed to think they appeared bigger by stepping on others. Early in the game, I argued against some who used homophobic and ableist slurs and sexist tropes with regularity, while pretending that it didn’t matter because it was the internet. I have known one popular young gay man in the game who committed suicide. Another left the game several years ago, partly because of homophobia and racism. I have stopped playing myself, more than once, because the combined toxicity in-game and in RL was more than I could handle. When I came back, it was because someone I cared for asked me to try again.




You may rightly wonder what is the point in telling you all this. Our media, in the last week, has talked a lot about whether people change. Some returning players have demonstrated their desire to play the game differently. I can respect that. Indeed, I believe change and growth are necessary to life. Anyone who has not changed to some degree in 13 years, more or less, is essentially dying. I admit I have changed in some ways in that time, although I have always played with the same account and with my own RL values.





My opinions about some players have also changed. I had real doubts about Kody5, for instance, on his first run for CP as a relatively newly returned player. He has proven those doubts wrong, and I am glad that he did. Overall, I think he has been a successful CP despite some unexpected difficulties along the way.






The community has also changed, as has the game itself. I will also admit that change for its own sake is not always an improvement. Nevertheless, with all the talk about how Patanok, formerly known as Wild Owl, is different, and despite the support of players I respect, I have seen nothing to make me believe that he has changed. On the contrary, I have been told by people I know and trust, that his style is essentially the same as it was years ago, when he first came to my attention by bullying and threatening a member of my community. I also recognize that many people think he is a brilliant player, and that he will once again be a great CP. I know my opinion cannot make any difference in this election, and that I risk offending power players by stating what I think, but I find myself unable to support his run this time, and rather than vote for someone I cannot trust, I will sit out this election. I may regret this. I may make enemies unnecessarily. I might also be proven wrong, but my heart says I needed to say this.

Good luck, eUS!