The Collection...A Tribute To An Angel.

Day 1,254, 18:51 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by Eamonn DeValera
Only You..

I just think of you
all of the time,
thoughts of you,
completetly consume
my mind...
Feelings of you
flood my heart,
feels like I'm being
ripped apart...
Love has never fit
so much like a
glove, and you
are the only man,
that I will ever
Love...

When my girlfriend died last year, she left behind tonnes of poems which she had written over the years. The first of which was called "only you" which is printed above. I found two boxes full of poems in her bedroom, one, with 14 poems inside, had my name on the box. I opened it and what I saw was amazing.
She had read me a few poems she wrote before but that was only 2 or 3. Never had I imagined that she wrote 14 poems to me! After reading through all of them, I dont think I was able to leave her room for several hours after. I felt guilty and heartless. I never knew she loved me as much as she did, she always told me but it never sunk in until reading her poems. I Loved her, I still Love her and I'll never forgive myself for not telling her I loved her everyday and making her see just how much she meant to me. It wasnt until she passed that I myself realised how much I Loved her and Ive wanted to tell her every day since she passed.
I know Maria would have loved to publish her poetry, she always talked about it. So, that is why I am publishing her 14 poems that she wrote to me here in eRepublik, it's the least I can do for her. I hope by reading her poems you too will be able to see just how much of an amazing, caring and thoughtful person Maria was.

The Way..

The way you look at me,
and I can't help but stare back.
The way I smile and giggle,
at the corny jokes you crack.
The way you hold me,
When we joyously embrace.
The way I dreamily sigh,
When I look at your face.
The way that I grin,
at the sound of your voice
This way that we love,
Like we had no other choice.

This is the second poem written by Maria, she read this one to me once. I remember we were after taking my dads jeep up the mountain near where I live to do some offroading with a few mates because we had a day off school. I ended up hitting a tree! So, I went a bit crazy, then out of knowhere, Maria tells me to shut the f**k up and listen to this!!
It made facing my father much, much easier.
Thanks babe!

Without You..

What can I say?
I just hate these
days, when you are
away...
What can I say?
I just hate these
nights,
when I can't hold
you tight...
What can I say?
I just hate these
minutes, without
you here in them...
What can I say?
Without you
I just can't
lay my head
in my bed, and
without you, my
soul just feels
dead...

The third poem from Maria..."what can I say?"... This poem needs no explanation, its simply beautiful.

Dance With Me Baby..

Dance with me baby...
Dance me nice and close.
Dance with me baby...
With the song you love the most.
Make it nice and easy....
make it sexy slow.
Dance with me baby....
mmmmmm I love you so.
Touch me with your body
Touch me with your soul...
Touch me with your fingers as you dance me nice and slow....
Dance with me baby...
Move across the floor
Move me in a circle...
Kiss me as we go...
Dance with me baby
Dance me nice and slow...
When the song is over and
you're gonna let me go....
touch me with your fingers,
just to let me know....

This is the fourth poem from Maria.
I think I remember catching her writing this one...after a very good night of clubbing..! 😉

Tonight..

Tonight I told you i've never been happier,
I think I was right,

The cold it was bitter
And the air it was dry,
As I mumbled and stuttered,
Getting out my words
But I wasn't cold,
Your Love made me warm,
My arms wrapped around you,
We held it so tight
As i reached out my lips,
And we kissed goodnight,
Im so in Love,
Were in Love

Tonight I told you i've never been happier,
I think I was right

All the words in this poem,
Could never do you right,
Could never compare to you,
Nothing ever could

All the sex in the world,
Could never equal this,
Nothing can be perfect,
Yet you're perfect for me,
Something about our souls,
Was just meant to fit,
Im so wrapped up,
Im so overwhelmed,
Id give up my whole world,
Just to meet your lips,

Fighting back my sleep,
Dont want to loose the mood,
But now I will dream
of our deep Love,
I Love You

Tonight i told you i've never been happier,
I know I was right,

I Love You.

The fifth poem from Maria.
Not far off christmas 2008, we were in Cork shopping and decided to have a stroll around the park while waiting to get collected. I remember her saying these words to me. Hard to believe it's almost 2 years ago.

Hang Around..

Hang around for a while
Knowing you makes me smile
Hold me in your arms
Keep me away from harm
Protect me from evil charm
Like a little child
Love me, keep me close
Close enough to kiss you
I will never leave you
Stay with me
It's where I want to be
With you holding me
Just to hear you breathe
Dream you in my sleep
Grey skys can't dim my day
Clouds of grey can't keep me away
From the one I love
Never gonna weep
Knowin' you're hangin' around with me
Sweet touch of a lovers lips
Strong embrace of a hand
I always think about you
My love for you will stand
Always by your side
Hide from pain
Your love keeps me sain
As I look into your eyes
Love I feel inside
Feeling too big to hide
A comfortable voice
Soft and sweet
You by my side
In my heart
In my dreams
Here with me
Forever I will see you
Forever we will be
Your love embraces my heart
Never leave me
True love will never leave
Always hangin' around
Always here with me
Forever we will be
Together, wait and see
Floating off in the sky
See your dreams, live your life
I'll be here by your side
With a gentel kiss,
Sweet dreams and
Good night.

The sixth poem from Maria. I find it one of the hardest for me to read. It describes what could have been....what should have been our future.

The Day I Stop Loving You..

The day I stop loving you is when pigs can literally fly,
The day I stop loving you is when you stop coming by.
The day I stop loving you is when I have lost my mind,
The day I stop loving you is when you stop being so kind.
The day I stop loving you I will probably never see,
because the day I stop loving you, will never be.

The seventh poem from Maria. Simple and touching.
We were on a flight to Majorca in the summer and she wrote this in about 30 seconds!
Then read it to me in front of the rest of the people in the plane. I was mortified as you can imagine but thats what she was like, unpredictable. Thats why I love her.

A Million Reasons..

There's a million and one reasons I love you,
But I guess I'll only name a few:
Your smile, your eyes, your sex appeal,
The crazy way you make me feel,
All the moments we've shared together,
The way you promise to love me forever.
I love the way you spike your hair,
When I need you you're always there,
All the crazy games we play,
The way I love you more each day,
Your personality, you're great with everyone,
You make everything so much fun,
The way you get mad when I say I love you more,
The way I fall asleep on you, so safe, so warm and secure,
Your fascination with the little things in life,
They way you can entertain yourself with fire and a knife.
I love your kisses and the way you whisper in my ear,
The fact that with you I have nothing to fear,
All the cute faces that you make,
The way your always giving but you hate to take.
I could think of a thousand more reasons you mean so much to me,
But I guess you'll just have to wait and see.

Well, thats a million reasons why I was the luckiest man in the world.

A Treasured New Year With You..

I'm so grateful for a new year
To spend with you,
My most special one,
My cherished and treasured love,
Who has gifted me with happiness and joy,
Adventure and excitement,
Comfort and peace.
As I look ahead, I see each day with you
Filled with warmth and affection,
A deeper, more fulfilling love,
Than I could have imagined
In my fondest, most perfect dreams.
A new year with you
Is the most valuable, most precious treasure
I could ever have.
Happy New Year Sweetheart!

So with a new year comes a very special poem from Maria. She wrote this poem on New Years eve and read it to me at the dinner table on New Years day 2009. Once again succeeding in mortifying me!


New Years Eve Party, December 2008! haha!

I Swore..

I swore I'd never write again like that.
It's cliche, corny, trite, and old hat.
The typical phrase of "I love you",
Sometimes translates to "I want to screw".
So when they speak of love to confess,
It's actually "will you take off that dress"?
My attitude was rather bitter and cold,
Distant and broken, or so I was told.
The whole love bit was getting old fast.
The whole love bit was a thing of the past.
Meeting you, like in slumber I awake
I now feel pure, devoid of erring mistake
Suddenly it all feels resoundingly new,
Like its my very first "I love you".

As most teenagers will know, the phrase "I Love You" gets thrown around a lot when your in your early-mid teens! Its only when you reach 17/18 you suddenly mature and that phrase seems to be the last thing on your mind. You realise how much it means to actually say you love someone. Thats what this poem is about. First Love.
She was mine and I was hers.

In Your Eyes..

Your eyes are what I noticed first,
They put a trance on me, like a curse
I saw so many beautiful colors
in such a beautiful person.
You weren't just smart and cunning,
but always so alive with fun.
Cool and sexy,
it all showed in your eyes.

I know you love me,
I can see it in your eyes,
the kind of love I was looking for,
the kind of love I found,
The type of passion that needs no sound,
You do not need to say whats in your heart,
because in your eyes I see your part,
Your love, your passion, your fire
Shines through your body's windows,
Those magnificent tinted moonpools
show your ups, your middles, and your lows
Your heart feels one way
but your brain controls your swift lips,
It is too late to use the heart's devoted tips
I can see the real feelings in your eyes,
They just seem to hypnotize.
Sending me your message through a different wave,
A connection only the two of us can save.
Its something you cannot hide,
Your eyes, they do not lie.

The 11th poem from Maria. I always new she could read me like a book!

Oh, Love..

Oh the world outside is
bright and
there's a chill I fear is death-
but in this world I know
I love- and
I love you.
oh Love.

I have fallen for you
and I lay at your feet,
you are the one I want,
can't you see
That you
are the one I want to be
there for day and night,
the one I shall be forced
to requite my love to-
...Oh love.

The winter sits peafully in your eyes
and the springtime in
your face, summer
in your touch-
all of the beauty in this world
I find within you-
you bring happiness and pleasure
to my life
And you're brighter to me
than the stars above.
Oh Love.

You are my night and day,
you are the air I breathe
and the sea that I bathe in,
the place where I belong
but scarcely am allotted,
you make me feel so free-
you are are like god above-
Oh, Love!

You are mystery and enchantment,
sexy and surprising and
hold that special glow within
that peaks through
your pupils,
I can see it when you stare into
my eyes
with that wicked, hushed grin-
It is you that I want to
take into my arms and
hold forever, you are
so far away-
oh love.

March brings April and May,
beyond, you bring me hope
and I want to bring you love-
love and truth-
freedom and peace-
within our souls together as one!
I cannot thank you enough
for what you've done,
you are truly the one
that I love--
Oh, Love...

I wonder this lazy morning,
do you sleep? Do you dream,
are you thinking of me too
when you stare out the window,
will you see your reflection
as I see it?- so charming,
so dashing and thrilling,
it's you,
It is you I simply cannot
get enough of,
it is you that I always
want to love,
Oh, Love!

Maria read this to me only a week or two before she died. I remember because of the first 3 lines which send a chill down my spine to this day when I read them.

Till The End Of The World..

You will be my sexy lover
I will be your sexy girl
Let us know each other
Until the end of the world!

God grants Love, so let us take it,
Savour it, cherish it.
Love is such an enormous giant
That is fearless and lion-hearted.
Love is good and little gesture
That is unseen and distinct.
Love is what you give to me
Love is what you need from me
Love is what you see in me
Love is what you want to be!

You will be my sexy lover
I will be your sexy girl
Let us know each other
Until the end of the world
Let us be with each other
Till the end of the world
Until the end of the world!

This one just breaks my heart.

This poem is the 14th and last poem Maria wrote for me. She must have been writing it when she died becasue it isnt finished. I have tried completing it but I know it would never be as good as what she would write.

Future Dreaming..

Waking from a sleepless
dream;
feeling groggy, but I
need to scream.

Constantly thinking,
constantly planning.
Our life together
is soon dawning.

It's at the horizon,
I wish it were now!
Always thinking of you
and my sacred vow.

Am I going too fast?
But I know this
love is made
to forever last.

So let me plot,
let............
........

A future I'd give anything to have with her.
I hope you have enjoyed these poems. I hope you get the sense of the kind of person Maria was.
My gorgeous girl.

Rest in peace babe.

I'll leave you with some pictures of good times we had together! 🙂



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On our way to the Debs! 🙂