The Chimp Chillin' After Another Success!
Day 1,436, 10:58
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Published in South Africa 
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by
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by Rico Suave
Mafikeng, North West Province
Reporters caught up with a hung over Congressman Suave on the street outside Jizzie McGuire's house. "Stay away from the drive will you. Jizzie don't want no reporters or press conferences on his property" The Chimp told them as he sat down on a trash can.
Rico Suave - PSU
"Yeah, my ratings doubled again this term!" Rico said, flashing a grin of gnarled yellow teeth. "My constituents can barely fit in my car now".
When asked about his outrageous campaign promises, Suave said that while he said some stuff about transparency, efficiency and diversity he never actually promised anything. "I will use this term to lobby for increased funding for elf-goat hybrid research. This is an important field you know!"
"Well.. I've got to hit the crapper, see you around" Rico said as he got up and staggered towards the house.
Reporters caught up with a hung over Congressman Suave on the street outside Jizzie McGuire's house. "Stay away from the drive will you. Jizzie don't want no reporters or press conferences on his property" The Chimp told them as he sat down on a trash can.
Rico Suave - PSU
"Yeah, my ratings doubled again this term!" Rico said, flashing a grin of gnarled yellow teeth. "My constituents can barely fit in my car now".
When asked about his outrageous campaign promises, Suave said that while he said some stuff about transparency, efficiency and diversity he never actually promised anything. "I will use this term to lobby for increased funding for elf-goat hybrid research. This is an important field you know!"
"Well.. I've got to hit the crapper, see you around" Rico said as he got up and staggered towards the house.
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Dammit Rico, now that you are famous I can't keep all these damn reporters and groupies of yours off my lawn! And stay off my hash drivew... I mean my freshly paved driveway!
Congrats anyway. So now it is full steam ahead with your elven-goat research. I was wondering what happened to Brendan Austerion... now I know.
Elf-Goat scarcity is the number 1 problem we face today
I am very glad that you recognize this.
*lobbying*
What are we looking at here, 50-60000 ZAR?