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Todays agony is an extract from an exclusive interview with Had3z

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes everyone uncomfortable, you know how No matter how legitimate your excuse, one always gets the feeling that your boss thinks your lying.

In one recent occasion, Had3z had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. he simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and hoped by then he could think up a

doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because Had3z had given in to his wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty we we will call sbosch from now on.


Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, Had3z was taking a shower after breakfast when his wife, called out from the kitchen.
"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."
"You know where the button is," Had3z protested through the shower. " pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

"But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"
There was a meaningful pause and then, "C'mon, it'll only take you a second."

So out Had3z came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that his silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, Had3z squatted down

and stuck his head under the sink to find the button.




Had3z talking in interview with our dialy agony reporter
"It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, and without any respect to my
circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth."

"It was our little kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached
under the sink.
And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. "

"I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of
a kitten hanging from my masculine region."


"Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.
I know this from experience.
I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet
bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold."


At this point the Daily agony report choked and had to go outside the house


When Had3z awoke, his wife and the paramedics stood over him.
Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by your wife back to conscious while the paramedics are all snorting loudly as they try to conduct their work,
all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

A few days later Had3z finally made it back in to the office, and irc where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of him about my head injury.

I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?" If they only knew!


All Had3z can say is that cats declared war on him