Join the new world

Before we start, let me say a few words about Confuzius, which I know you all are aware of and respect. And if you don't, it's not like he would get mad at you or something. He'll use the lightning wrongfully assigned to the non-existant Zeus and electrocute your pagan a$$.

Confuzius is in all that surrounds us. He is the Keeper of Light (another misjudgement - Ezalor was thought to be the Keeper of Light, but this guy's just an avatar of The Great Confuzius). He is in all of us and he's main atribute is his wisdom. He's not confuzing, as many of you may think (remember the lightning?!?), he is wise and all that exists is because of Him.

You all may know the human extent of Confuzius, his philosophical discussions with his long-time friend, Arcimete. If not, you can click here and find out. By The Great One's mercy, you are allowed to use Google Translate for a better grasp of His wisdom.
But now, after years and years of meditating about the mysteries of life, Confuzius has decided that you, his humble followers have to share some of the results of his great mind.

Every week there will be a quote by Confuzius himself or one of His many Avatars, mercifully explained for easier assimilation by normal human beings, such as yourselves.

Now shut up and listen to the wise voice of The Great One, as he tells us about an imminent problem of The New World. Sit tight and listen, for he will only speak once (and also he doesn't have a very strong voice).

Respectfully,
Sir Gogu,
Confuzius' very own historian.




“Not victory , Obi- Wan. The shroud of the Dark Side has fallen. Begun, this Clone War has.”
Quote attributed to Yoda, one of Confuzius' wisest and most longeval Avatars

All across the New World, the battle has begun.

The clones were unleashed in the last presidential elections and also in the ones for Congress all over the globe.

I, as my own master and servant, I, as my own ideal in life, I have decided that I have to take action. So I contacted the Admin telepatically and told him that if I happen to see the tinyest trace of an undead clone, he will be electrocuted. Furthermore, I used my ability to read minds to find out which brains are empty of any will. I killed those guys (although it turned out that half of them weren't clones; the other half of them were just stupid).


How a clone is made


Now about the motivation of some people to create clones and other stuff like that.
A clone is your lifelong friend.
A clone will never argue with you.
A clone is your best supporter in election times.
A clone is the best way to throw dirt at your opponent. If your opponent is dumb enough not to have any clones, you should create some for him.
A well-bred clone will ooze from his anus about as much electrical energy to power-up a blender for up to 18 1/2 hours. So, see, the clones aren't power consuming, they even bring power profits.
And finally, by gaining a clone, you will have: 4 eyes instead of just 2, 4 arms instead of just 2 and 2 anuses instead of just one. Which means you will be full of sh!t. If you exceed the number of 10 clones, you will be known as "The Sh!tmaster" and if, by any chance, you are good enough to master over 100 clones, you are "The Manure Man", the highest distinction that anyone can grant in the New World.

So, to all Sh!tmasters and Manure Men out there, a big squishy hug from my own massive self, with a great hope that this would end in death by suffocation.

Yours truly,
Confuzius,
Lord and Master to everything that moves or stands still