Join the new world

9 January 2011, Day 1146 of the New World. Shortly after wrapping up the mission to break up Australnesia, Israel’s Defense Force was again called on abroad. At the request of the Croatian government, our forces deployed to Lika and Gorski Kotar to deter the forceful creation of a Serbian Yugoslavia. While there, we also picked up some savory Balkan venison. We’ll call that a secondary objective.



Since the fighting in the Balkans has moved away from Croatian core territory, and the Israeli military mandate there has expired. In the meantime, the military has been undergoing some more domestic-minded planning.

Ranks

Presently, IDF uses just four ranks. The enlisted force presently has no ranks. Leading squads, which could alternatively be described as platoons or companies, are each led by one company grade officer, a Seren. The two branches of the force as let by a general officer, an Aluf. Aluf Beagle Boy currently commands the Stationary Division, and Aluf K0munista currently commands the Mobile Division. Finally, the force has one chief of the general staff, a Rav Aluf.

The enlisted force needs more reason to stay active and motivated, and presently the rewards of enlisting and staying committed beyond the self-evident are not immensely attractive. We continue to work towards improving our military and country. As such, recognition will now be afforded to the soldiers displaying longevity in IDF. The force will now use two ranks. New recruits will hold the rank of Tiron [טירון] while those who have served actively and honorably for a period no less than three months shall be eligible for promotion to Turai. [טוראי].

Structure

The division that presently exists in the military is based on deployment ability. The Stationary Division is not expected to travel to other lands to fight, while the Mobile Division is. This distinction was rapidly shattered by the unexpected change in the mobility of elected officials. Usually the stationary branches of national armies are populated by the Congressmen and Party Presidents who cannot leave the country without forfeiting their elected position. This is no longer the case.

I almost shed a tear as I voted down a minimum wage change in the Israeli Knesset while living and working in Croatia. To think of how many military adventures I missed out on – resistance wars in South Africa and Hungarian-occupied Asia for example – because I occupied the Congress seat in Arizona or Michigan. Of course the very first month I resigned a seat to move and fight would be the month that change was implemented.

Anyway, the officer corps is debating a new structure for the armed forces. The officers and their ranks will unlikely change, but mandates and requirements in different parts of the military might.

An Air Force?



At the time of our deployment to Croatia, the only moving tickets offered on the Israeli market were for one region only. It is fortunate that scenic southeast Europe, and all the attractions and entertainment therein, were only one region away. This is being discussed as a national security priority, as such a market would either drastically reduce Israel’s ability to project power globally or dump some of our budget into foreign markets. With the future of moving uncertain, though, our policymakers may decide against financing a military-owned moving ticket company.

Country President Elections

This month we monitored the presidential elections in various countries in the interest of national security. Our findings overall suggest a continued stable, defensible position in Israel.

Of particular interest, predictably, is Turkey. Two of their candidates did set aggressive military objectives as national goals. However, their winner targeted Bulgaria, and the third-place candidate targeted Cyprus. Nevertheless, Israelis continue to be skittish about Turkish ambitions. Then others unnecessarily propose Turkey as a natural enemy, which isn’t particularly helpful. Israel, if you continue to worry about the Turks rather than leaving the border quiet as they do, I will begin referring to you as the Eyalet of Judea.

We also watched Iran this month, as one of their candidates called for conquest of all Israeli territory. That candidate carried about one-eighth of the vote.

IRC

Superior coordination has been proven to overcome deficiency in strength and number. Although I have not scientifically collected such data, it would not surprise me if more than half of all damage seen in certain minibattles came in the last five minutes. Organization is the key. For this reason, I and Aluf K0munista will be working on ways to promote Internet Relay Chat (IRC) usage among the soldiers. It’s just another one of those things to help make the country better.


That's all for now from Israel Defense Forces. This has been Rav Aluf von Phalz.