[Appleby] Reform the CPship

Day 3,450, 04:21 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Sir Humphrey Appleby


G’mornin gents, happy bank holiday o/,

After spending the last few days trying to bully gently persuade people into running for CP the chief response was principally, apart from sod off, that none have the time nor energy to generally give a meaningful toss.

In accordance with the general rules of irony, he with seemingly boundless ambition for the role has the ill-fated coincidence of being infamous eRep nutter Ajay Bruno. So perhaps a last resort in a couple more months down the line then...



Even after handing the keys to Dapper, in a bizarre attempt to entertain the formerly unthinkable, it seems we again witness the predictable fizzle and collapse as the sheer mass of disillusionment successfully overwhelms another that made the catastrophic mistake to add their name to the ballot.

Sadly even our existential threat from the unholy alliance of narcists and egomaniacs seems to have upped sticks to greener, sunlit uplands. And I expect promises of an easier go wouldn’t tempt them into another visa-fuelled adventure even if we tried…

The main issue, apart from the general game slowing down to a crawl, is that the role of CP has become too much for anyone with experience to know they can reasonably handle to a satisfactory degree. Not without drugs aplenty, at least.

And as less and less sign up to government, and ministerial posts struggle to be filled even with inactives, more and more of the day to day admin is left for Number 10 to sort out themselves (or, more often the case, not at all (ref: Appleby CP terms 1 to 5)).


"What?"

Thus I propose we establish the CP as more of a team/cabinet leader rather than a purely presidential one. And that we extend the cabinet to anyone that isn’t a. Ajay Bruno, or b. Suspected of being Ajay Bruno. Theoretically we can declare every citizen an automatic member of the cabinet if they want to get involved and just take it from there.

AMD is rightly shafted for never publishing MoFA articles. In my eyes his principle and only needed defence is that absolutely nobody else can be bothered either, thus guaranteeing a logical stalemate in this neverending battle of ennui.

It’s a similar disaster elsewhere. The now soiled Ministry of Education saw it’s greatest media empire established by it’s least talented Minister. But sheer idiocy and inexperience stood no chance against the white-hot fire of Aecio’s burning desire to make his mark, and make his mark he absolutely did.

TL😉R – Reform the government to being a bit like joining a party, where you can come and go/do as much as you please sorta thing. Make government more of a team effort less completely reliant on the CP. We should be aiming for domestic matters to be more the focus of parties and parliament these days anyway...

Sorry for the rant! Probably need a scotch...




Appleby
Apparently Still the Speaker