Inane Interview with Pizza the Hut

Day 1,238, 12:09 • Published in USA USA • by Chutley
POSITIVE THINKING INTERVIEW

This article marks the second in a series of inane interviews with influential e-Reppers. This time, Pizza the Hut briefly puts up with Positive Thinking's absurd approach to pseudo-journalism.

Hope you enjoy the interview's nonsensical, completely uninformative, ridiculously stupid, format.





10 Questions with Recent and Future Presidential Candidate, Pizza the Hut:


A SLICE OF PIZZA

1. Let’s talk about your name. Is it from an unhealthy love of pizza, Spaceballs, real balls, or all three?

PTH: Hahahaha, ohhh, all three! LOL.... well, the first two definitely... and it's just such a delicious avatar, isn't it?


2. If you were a pizza, what toppings would be on you, and why?

PTH: Ohhh, toughy.. pepperoni, peppers, onions, olives, other things I can't think of right now! They are uber awesome! 😉


3. How do you feel about Jabba the Hutt? A real dick, right?

PTH: Hahaha, a misunderstood, pleasantly plump business slug!





4. Ask yourself a question about yourself:

Q: Pizza, why do you love America so much?
A: Because true Americans are AWESOME! I believe in the end the silent majority will win the day! We're on track to make this a reality in the near future!


5. I’m assuming these are your parents?





PTH: Are you stalking me!?!?!?!? Spot on detective work!





PIZZA’S eREPUTATION


6. Some eReppers have insulted you mercilessly in the past. Assuming that’s actually true, what insult is so true it hurts?

PTH: I am often attacked for my real life religious and political convictions..... it's sad that some people who claim to be tolerant, really aren't... so that would probably be it.

[On a lighter note]: Well, once when I was talking about my optimistic vision for the future... James S. Pfeiffer(Henry Arundel to newer players) once told me "That only works in Star Trek because they've figured out how to convert energy into matter you dumb f***"


7. You seem to have a nice little eRep following. Valid?

PTH: Yes, fortunately the number of eRepublikans who agree with our common sense message is growing. I am fortunate to be one of the leaders of this movement and humbled by the trust instilled in me. I will try to live up to it.


8. What’s the best thing about presidential candidacy? Is it being able to walk into a room and say your legs are tired because you “just ran for president?”

PTH: Hah, nice one! I love being able to talk to new people and being able to talk to a large audience about what my message and our party's message is for our country and the game. Even if we fall short, it is a fulfilling feeling in the least.


9. What’s the absolute worst thing you’ve ever seen on eRep?

PTH: I would say domestic PTO's. It is a sad thing to see people turning on their fellow countrymen due to petty squabbles. We should all work through our differences and work together like adults.

[On a lighter note]: Once Woxan(who pretended he had a "brother" name Tormod) for a LONG time... directed the eUS government to PTO our party... clearly an absurd abuse of power... but the child did it none-the-less... Also, getting rid of ads was pretty absurd!


10. Do you smell that?

PTH: Victory? I smell it more and more every day! 🙂



As always, this ridiculous interview was brought to you by Caveman Lawyers:






Thanks for reading another inane interview. Vote and subscribe if you’re feeling generous.


###