Hot Off the USWP Press

Day 5,035, 04:05 Published in USA USA by Hcmadman legione astra equitum




USWP Endorses Herr Vootsman

In a shocking and death defying tale of enormity the USWP has endorsed Herr Vootsman for an astonishing 7th term.

News broke early in the morning while Plato was still passed out drunk in Diogenes' basket.

A bystander was heard commenting "I never knew there were so many mattresses at Costco!"



When asked for comment the white house pool boy merely pointed to a cabana with rusty bars on all sides, and grunted "that's where we keep Paul and Evry, DMJ lost the keys a few months ago"

Also while leaving the white house grounds this reporter discovered his car had been covered by suspected eagle droppings crudely shaped into the words 'MURICA HECK YEAH'.