Changes

Day 4,908, 20:02 • Published in Canada Canada • by Amaryllis Bloom

Time never stops. The haze remains. So much confusion. Reality of what once was still seems but a dream. Had I dreamt it? Had I been asleep this whole time? But those eyes seemed so real...

*blip*

Oh look. Another email.

The small rectangle in front of me has become almost a prison. Forced to communicate with the colleagues I've never met.

My days of looking out at the open spaces have gone. Moved indoors, isolated. My tolerance for interaction with others is, non existent. I find solace in being alone, but then the fractured memories, the dream state, those eyes come back to my mind.

I moved back to a place of familiarity. What I do remember of this place is bits and pieces, but I remember being happy at one point. Everything looks different.

I feel like I'm being watched. Monitored from a distance. I keep looking for those eyes. Who else could it be. I was so close to remembering him. So blue, so focused.. *shakes head* I need to focus on who I am. Who I was. I look around and this small apartment feels like it was home once. Home. They say home is where the heart is. Was it here at one point?

Time for my physical therapy. I guess one good thing about the world getting sick is I don't have to pretend around any one. I can recover here, or descend into madness. I start my usual sit ups and my mind flashes to a drill sergeant screaming in my face. How can I miss something I don't remember?