Join the new world

So, today I noticed that I apparently have a newspaper. I guess I started one last month during PP elections. I didn't remember starting it most likely because I was taking pain pills at the time (lot of headaches from the firestation). Anyway, I figure that since I have this newspaper I may as well use it for something right? Well, that leaves the question, "What for?"

I asked around about what I should use it for. I got responses for ATO paper, join one of the eUS government programs, blah blah blah. I think the only one that actually appealed to me was given to me by Mercurius100 (spelled right?). He told me to write about what inspired me. Well folks, right now I am inspired by poop. Yes poop.

Earlier today I was scooping the cat's litter box (gross). I was having a blast you know, who wouldn't enjoy picking up clumps of poop with a plastic scoop right? Well while I was scooping poop, the unthinkable happened. A PIECE FELL ON THE FLOOR! *gasp* OH NO *gasp*

"SS74, what did you do?"

Well, I did the only thing I possibly could do. I gagged a little cause it smelled really bad. THEN, I saved the day. I dashed to the closet, but I couldn't find the broom. "Oh god, no!" Then I dashed to kitchen, but WE WERE OUT OF PAPER TOWELS! *EEK* Well then I had to perform a daring and high risk operation involving skill, precision, and the highest level of concentration. I used the bag I was putting the poop in to scoop the stuff on the floor up to the side of the box and then scooped it into the bag! *YAY*HOORAY*CHEERS*

So thus ends the story of the cat poop chronicles. I hope you all enjoyed my slightly dramatized, based on a real event story of tragedy, heroism, courage, suspense, and sheer genius and ingenuity. Maybe I'll post more eventually, I'm not really sure though. If I don't, I'm sorry to disappoint you by only sharing with you one fascinating story. It all kinda depends on whether or not I can find the inspiration to write something for you all to read. Let us hope I find it for you all to continue being entertained.

Also, sorry there were no pictures here. I kept getting error messages when I tried to put them in. If I'd managed to fix it, you all would have spent the entire article staring at pictures of cat poop. Sorry I had to disappoint you by not fixing it 🙁