Why I Am Voting For Groot

Day 4,734, 04:23 • Published in USA USA • by George Barker

Because I was in the war room when Romania sabotaged one of our runs at rubber, and then sent this message:




In reply, Wilker Nath, one of the people somehow close to the center of power in this country, went into a panic, shat himself, and said "We can't lose Asteria!" After they sabotaged us, threatened us, made deals for resources we need behind our backs, he -- and the people he reports to -- apparently believe we ever "had" Asteria. Well, we don't. Groot is an ass, but (despite being a tree) he's got enough animal cunning to understand that disgraceful groveling like we've seen out of the last several administrations does nothing but make us a laughingstock, and give people the idea they can do whatever they please -- bully us, sabotage us, force us to attack former allies -- and we'll do nothing in return but grovel harder.

Read this remarkable document. It's cthulu's "manifesto" -- a weird collection of empty, risible threats, and servile groveling to Romania -- written the day after they sabotaged us and threatened to do it again. It's EXACTLY the mentality that made us very, VERY lucky to get full bonuses, and in fact, were it not for Chickensguys -- another ass, but the last person with real talent for the game to occupy the presidency -- we wouldn't have it now. (I might write something about that in the future -- it's actually a hilarious story in its own right, and underscores the failure, blindness, ineptitude, prejudices, and stupidity of the bubblar clique).


Here are the facts: Asteria and its allies are farming thousands of gold a month out of our regions. We have attacked two countries that were doing absolutely nothing to us -- in fact, they were former allies -- to try to please Asteria. We have one of the best corps of tanks in the game -- Romania, Serbia, and Croatia are better, but I'm not sure any other country is currently fielding a better group. Yet, we have become the biggest laughingstock this game has ever known; our foreign policy is nothing more than groveling to Asteria -- but the second our interests clashed with another country's, Asteria sided with the other country, and we dialed the groveling to an even higher level. We are on our knees, we've been put there by the group cthulu represents, and if there's a chance Groot will do something to get us off our knees, he deserves my vote. So he'll get it, whether I like him or not. I'm asking anyone who reads this to do the same. It's time to get off our knees and on our feet.