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Valentine's Day is upon us! At least in this part of the world, anyway!

In honor of the day, I've rummaged through my old scribblings in order to find the Valentine's Day article I wrote a year ago, which I'll now proceed to re-publish!

Yes, I am indeed that lazy. Shouldn't come as a shock to my long time readers.

Enjoy!




Stereotypical love song soundtrack!

Ah, Valentine's Day. The day when the significant other in the relationship receives affection in the form of flowers, chocolate, jewelry and other fancy or adorable gifts, while the less significant other suffers from sudden and acute lack of cash.

Scientists are still baffled about the correlation between these two events. The current dominant theory is that the opportunity for sex causes the male mind to go on an overdrive, and the man forgets where he left his wallet. This theory seems to be backed up by the baby boom that oddly takes place exactly 9 months after the Valentines.

By the way, has anyone seen my wallet...?

Valentine's Day is also the day of the year when you can expect men to make utter fools of themselves just for a bit of attention from the opposite sex.


Oh, please God, no! My eyes! Somebody put that love crazed bear down!

"Wait a minute... is this about Valentine's Day?"

Yes, like the smartest of my readers have by now noticed, this article is indeed about Valentine's Day!

However, if you happen to be of the slightly more slower type, please keep on reading although you don't understand one word. There might be boobs in this article. It's Valentines, after all. THE Day for love!

Alternatively, instead of reading, you can just click on the vote button at the upper left corner and skip to the end of this article to admire the potential female milk glands. Why wait for good things, that's what I always say!

But if you happen to be this guy...


What the hell are you wasting your time reading this for?! Go have sex already!

The rest of you, keep reading (if not for anything else then for the boobs at the end of the article)!

”What is this all about then?”

As I was saying before I rudely interrupted myself, by this article I want to improve people's Valentine's Day awareness and perhaps start a cult like phenomenon of gifting and remembering your friends and, heck, why not enemies as well?

They might appear to you as just an odd mix of grammatically terrible sentences and poorly veiled penis jokes, but there's a living person at the other end of the internet writing those. Maybe someone whom, under different circumstances, you would be real friends with and enjoy talking to.

”Alright. Sounds like fun. So, what's with this Valentine's Day, anyway?”

I am so glad I asked myself that! You see, Valentine's Day was created by Pope Gelasius I at the end of the 5th century. It was named, maybe not too surprisingly, after a person called Valentine.

Now, the funny thing is that no one knows WHICH Valentine it was named after! There are several possible choices, all of which happened to die in a particularly nasty, bloody fashion, which made the Church proclaim them as martyrs and Saints (no, not the American Football team).

So, kinda like Jesus died for our sins and eternal salvation, Saint Valentine died to give the millions of couples in this world an excuse to... have sex.



”Eww... Please, tell me more!”

Well, then the capitalists came and turned it into a big commercial holiday, taking all the magic (but not the sex) out of it. Still, just like in Christmas, if you leave out all the commercialism and unnecessary stress, Valentine's Day is a chance for us to reflect on ourselves and think about our loved ones and friends, and what they mean to us.

The world is full of many depressing things you really wouldn't like to spend time contemplating about, but there are moments in everyone's life when the darkness becomes too much to bear. At that point your friends will be there to take your hand and guide you back to the light.

You shouldn't need a special day to remember how special your friends are, but maybe Valentine's Day is a good reminder for those of us who sometimes take friendship for granted.

"I think I got something in my eye... So what should we do now?”

Just for this day, let us forget about internet sociopathy and act like people. Just for this day, open your hearts and thank the people that have so far made your eRepublik experience richer, even if that person is in the wrong alliance. It's a game, after all, and that's something we should never forget.

So to all you eRepublikans out there, I wish you a great Valentine's Day!

Oh yea, and here are the promised boobular objects:


Clearly worth the wait!

-Erwin Schauman
Some sort of President, the last time I heard