Mea Culpa

Day 4,549, 19:33 • Published in USA Turkey • by Karl004

Some american people who didn't follow much the news these days might be wondering why there is unexpected guests in their lands. While they have to stay at home, some strange canadians are still walking outside without any facemask. I feel like our intentions hasn't been clearly defined to you and I wish to make amends for it. Some high brass US officials already have a good idea of what is happening, but for the rest of you, what I'm going to say may shock you. You are warned. Turns out we haven't been quite honest with you.

Actually, the true reason for our incursion in the US is obviously to go shopping. With the border closed, how else can we get our pizza flavored oreos and cheap gasoline? Do you have any idea how much fuel a Ram II tank needs?






But let's get back to the oreos. They are the reason we are here. As you all know, canadians are generally nice and polite as long as they are well fed with pizza-flavored oreos. Relations between our two countries have always been harmoniously intertwined with this precious commodity. That is until the Q7 pandemic.








As a fellow canadian, I can assure you that this situation is not good for anyone. There are rumors that canadian soldiers back in WW2 were suffering a shortage of it from the shaky Allies' supply lines right after Normandy and that their best bet was to end the war as fast as possible so they can go back home to eat pizza-flavored oreos.




But the latest confirmed incidence of severe pizza-flavored oreos shortage happened in the now infamous Good Friday Massacre.







The thruth is, we know more than anyone how we become without this precious ressource. That is why we were resorted to launch the attack now while we still have some sanity left to hold back. Sure, we could have chosen another place to make a srockpile from but I mean come on, it's pizza flavored oreos! What's more American than that!?





I hope it answers at least some of the questions you have about our recent behavior. We assure you that once we get enough reserve to last until the end of this Q7 pandemic, we shall head back home.

So, if you are in volountary isolation and you have a pizza in the oven, do the right thing and let your windows open for your valiant neighbors of the north!














P.-S: When we crossed the border, there may have been some serbian guys as well. We don't know who they are.