Fall of Canada and rise of Greeling
Trekker Tlumac
With the recent Greeling-nization of what was once Canada the lot of the former Canadians has improved greatly. Of course we knew that would be the case. Who would not love be roved by a benevolent dictator that is Greeling? Well that is the question that burns in most of our minds. How do the everyday ex-nads feel now that Greeling has liberated them from Canadian tyranny?
Well recently I (Trekker Tlumac), a longtime proponent against Canadian tyranny had unprecedented access to some random citizen living in Manigreelba (formerly Manitoba), to gather a native’s take on the good fortune of living under Greeling rule.
Trekker: Hello random citizen
As the interview was unplanned, I spoke this greeting several times to several random citizens before one finally stopped. He was of pretty standard Canadian stock: Five foot ten, short scruffy beard, red flannel jacket, riding a moose with an axe over one shoulder and a tub of maple syrup under the other arm. Clearly on his way home from a pond hockey game. He looked at me with a discerning gaze. It was clear he had no idea what to make of me. This awkward, yet not at all tense moment passed as he decided to respond.
Random citizen: Eh?
Trekker: Hello random citizen.
Random citizen: Hello then. What’s this all aboot?
That must of have been the warm Canadian hospitality I had always heard so much about. Undaunted I pushed forward.
Trekker: I want to talk to you about Greeling and the annexing of your former country.
At this point the air seemed to jump about fifteen degrees (first by Fahrenheit and then by Celsius) and a hockey pocked smile shone back at me. I knew I had broken through the ice crusted surface of the Canadian’s heart.
Random citizen: Sure, sure. Follow me. I have a mansion near downtown, where we can discuss the savior in comfort.
Being as, even with the fifteen degrees jump, it was still well below zero, I was more than willing to oblige my soon to be host this whim.
I followed his moose a short distance to downtown Winnegreelpeg. I was impressed by the infrastructure, three shops and a post office. We came to a log shack that I initially mistook for a barn, but as Random Citizen got off his mount and walked to the door I realized that it must be his “mansion”.
The inside was quite quaint and the host gave me a wonderful Canadian beer, imported from eUSA. After some other pleasantries it was time to get down to business.
Trekker: Judging from the smile earlier, am I to take it that you are in favor of Greeling invading Canada?
Random Citizen: Hah! Oh yes. I thank the stars for the day that Greeling came.
Trekker: Really? What kind of difference has it made in day to day life?
Random Citizen: The glory of Greeling knows no bounds. All things are better. Suddenly life seems to be worth living again.
Trekker: Well that is a little over dramatic.
Random Citizen: No really… Without more Greeling, this place sucks.
Trekker: That much of a difference? Can you explain it to me?
Random Citizen: I mean there was a hole in my life that I never knew could be filled. You just kind of expect that when you grow up in a frozen wasteland, things will suck. Things used to be so bleak up here that really people only had one of three options with how they would live life.
Trekker: What are they?
Random Citizen: Well if you had any kind of marketable skill, you sold your soul and left for warmer places. Doctors, musicians, athletes, actors, and so on, if leaving was an option you would take it. Many trained in such skills for that exclusive purpose.
Trekker: Really? Was that a pathway that actually worked?
Random Citizen: Oh yes. Ever hear of Jim Carrey, Michael J Fox, Alanis Morissette, or Pamela Anderson? All of them are Canadians that got USA citizenship. And there are many more. It is a serious loss to our culture, but who can blame them?
Trekker: So people like Justin Bieber too?
Random Citizen: Erm, you can keep that one. We don’t want her back.
Trekker: Wow… Well that is surprising. I guess not, really. We don't really want her in the USA either. So what was the second possibility for a Canadian?
Random Citizen: The next option is to feel alive in any way possible. This often manifests through risky diplomacy directed at trying to dictate USA foreign policy. Whether it be aligning with Serbia or whining internationally until someone has to listen, it makes some people feel important. They feel alive, at least for a few moments at a time.
Trekker: Ah, risky behavior to feel alive. I think we can all understand that. Who hasn’t jumped off a cliff into the ocean or ran naked past a police station? But trying to force the policies of much bigger and powerful countries is a very dangerous game.
Random Citizen: Exactly.
Random Citizen and I both shudder at the thought and drift into a short silence. One that I break first.
Trekker: So what is the last option for a Canadian before the Great Greeling came?
Random Citizen: It is the most dour, yet common approach to life. People would resign themselves to their lot and welcome the darkness of winter. Embracing it as a reason to sleep for nine months of the year and hope that the future would get brighter.
Trekker: That does not sound like any kind of life. But all that changed with the invasion of Greeling.
Random Citizen: You better believe it. Life is worth living because of our Greeling overlord.
At this point my gracious host offered me the finest of Canadian cuisine. This of course means poutine and bad whiskey. *COUGH* Canadian Mist *COUGH* All in all the meal was good.
After a few minutes we got back to business.
Trekker: How do you feel about the war, Greeling aside?
Random Citizen: I am ecstatic about it. It is a little known fact that all Canadians secretly wish they were more American by being part of the great USA empire. It is an unfortunate that so many of our dignitaries are unwilling to accept the will of the masses.
Trekker: Really? I never knew any of the populace wanted to be real Americans.
Random Citizen: Oh yes. But we are subjugated. We still would be if not for Greeling and you ‘Mericans.
At this point my host broke down in tears of pure maple syrup.
Now call me tacky, but I know when it is time to move on. With that, I left my gracious, albeit odd Canadian host to his own devices and made my arduous journey home through the wasteland of the north.
Trekk's first article in a while
V/S/C
http://www.erepublik.com/en/article/2386235/1/20
Comments
Canada is successfully annexed. :3 I love you all, my Canadian friends! To the rest of the nice eCan's out there, I guess you are alright too. To the trolls of eCan, meh, nothing I ever say would convince you I am a good guy so I won't even bother. To the rest, it is a game and I am playing my part of a over-zealous Patriot.
We're not down and out yet 😉
All in good spirit eh ^__^ Cheers to bagged milk and moose! 😃
All in good spirit. 🙂 Maine culture (where I come from) share a lot of these culture quirks I made fun of. I mean our state mammal and animal are Moose. And we have Sugar Maple festivals every spring when the sap runs. 🙂 And so on.
Well, you could have problems with that flag, as it is my original work.
But... nah, never mind.
One question: who is the propaganda adviser in the Feds?
He did this independently
As far as I know, there is no such adviser. Why do you ask? (honest query)
This is an article independent of Fed influence. I removed the Fed logo from the bottom to limit chance of confusion of that.
Just wondering if someone at the Feds is training folks in writing propaganda articles.
Well I will put it to you this way. Up until a couple weeks ago I was Media Director and I did not advise anyone in propaganda. Wooky (my successor) was my right hand man and I trained him. Fed papers are just that: "Fed" papers. There is a high level of non-fed related news in our media as well.
However what our writers publish outside of Fed Media is not our main concern. (this article is a prime example of the, as it was a private release)
Thank you.
P/Hropaganda is not propaganda 😉
Great article! 🙂
Thanks for the support
Glad to see you back and writing.
Thanks for the support. I am glad to write something too. First time in 4 months I had not put out at least one article a week. I wrote this last week when I was all sick and feverish, I wanted to publish it while it was still current. lol
NEEDS MORE GREELING!!!
Yeah, like cowbell, there can never be enough greeling. It is unfortunate that Random Citizen did not utter your name more often.
v+s
Thanks for telling the truth. The Canadian former-elites spewed such filthy lies.
Only the Truth can set Greelingada free. And this article tells more of the truth about the Great Maple Syrup Skirmish than anything I've seen on eRepublik.
It is my aim to serve the public and to report the news. Greelingada needs a voice. I tried to be that voice. Thanks for the support.