Dr. Bishop for President
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by chickensguys
Dr. Bishop For President
Greeting my fellow New Yorkers, I would call you Americans but America is gone and I am left with the lovely state of New York to call my home. I have decided to run for President for 3 specific reasons.
Prepare yourself to enter the mind of a genius.
Prepare yourself physically and emotionally.
The following disquisition will boggle your mind, produce a laxative effect and render your digestion useless.
I am currently writing this in a Word Document that contains 30,501 words. That basically sums up my entire elife of work. Pretty god damn insane if you ask me. I have made a ton of errors over my last 3 years playing this game, much like a meth head looking for his next hit. Needless to say I have made an indelible impression on the populace of the entire nation at one time or another.
I have sought to ruin lives by espousing slanderous remarks. Partaking in Character assassinations and spreading calumnies throughout the free world. Now let me assure you that I am not the only one. This has become more of a culture than a single problem, it wasn’t like I was purposely presenting falsehoods to better myself, oh wait. Yes I was but so were you! Frankly speaking this action opened the gates of hell. Partisan blood crudely sat back brooding and when the young turkeys came calling they mercilessly devoured my soul. This of course made me the prime target for public anger and odium
However this never really bothered me because I knew that I was right and they were wrong because I pride myself on being an ardent stubborn avaricious jerk. Well I am not the only avaricious person here; most of the players are self-centered and greedy.
At the end of the day I am just like you and sure that doesn’t make this any less laudable but please.
Furthermore I ultimately face animadversion for my zealous behavior and was banished from all good things (Chats, Forums). Instead of being prudent or being judicious I simply went cliff jumping. Seeing the world for what it was. A harsh wasteland.
This perspective has taught me a great deal about people and the society we live in and I hope to use my newly found and developing skills to bless the land and clear the skies.
Anyhow Here is why you should elect me.
1) I like Big Money
2) I like Big Business
3) I like Big Women
Oh wait, no no Not this
1) Peace
2) Prosperity
3) Liberty,
Yes yes, this is good this is what you want to hear.
Now I am going to explain each section, I encourage you to reads these sections very slowly and carefully.
1) America is now the butt of all jokes. We can’t win for the life of us. So I propose that we look for a peaceful resolution to end the conflict.
2) With the end of war and the assurances of our regions I can only hope we can prosper on our resources and become a rich nation again.
3) Liberty, Imagine actually having a congress that represents the needs of the people.
In a Walnut Shell; When we are getting owned by foreign people we cannot have nice things.
I hope you enjoyed my allurements, now please come to my apartment, I have candy. Ignore the chains
Prepare your butts!
I mean, Here is my cabinet, Please note everyone in my cabinet is being forcefully appointed and has absolutely and unequivocally zero say in the matter.
SuperDerper Official Cabinet
The following people are superlative that being said I will delineate for the sake of doing it.
Vice Cop from Miami
Rainy Sunday is so hawt that stolen goods sell her. She has the brightest mind in American Politics and rarely falls into the political end fighting that turns angels to demons. She is a pure honest person with the best of intentions. She has done everything short of being President herself and is one hell of a model American, cough****** New Yorker.
Lechery of the Treasury
Kemal Ergenekon is so socialist that Keynesians save money. He has been running a mobbed up treasury for years now, so let’s keep him around for nostalgic reasons. Who cares about Fraud and accountability? I sure don’t, look at me partaking in more calumnies. I am sorry Kemal, I am sure turn coats love you.
Secretary of Whales
Oblige is so hostile, that even Canadians hate him. I was told at an early age that the best way to govern is to have a distain for the government and for politics. This theory is exactly why I am appointing Oblige to this high end position. I dislike him so much he will make me a better President. Oblige himself is plenty qualified, he has been in congress more times than Lindsay Lohan has seen Rehab.
Secretary of State
Othere reminds me of “LOST”... Furthermore Othere has had Hillary Clinton on his avatar for the longest time so he deserves this spot.
AIC Director
Inwegen is so emotional that little girls cry for him. Inwegen or as I like to call him Wiggy has been running a gestapo type operation for the last 23 years. That being said he would make a great director of the AIC.
Emerick of Emericka
Emerick has been in prison so many times judges remember his name. Emerick has been promoting Emerick since 2008 and I am so happy to add this selfless propaganda machine to my cabinet. I am sure he won’t hijack the agenda and make it about himself.
Mu of Mu’s
Gnilraps has made and broken more Mu’s than a Chinese bull in a British shop. Gnilraps most notable accomplishment has been the level to which he can be a pain in your lower nether regions. That being said, appointing him to my cabinet will just further my disdain for government and make me a better person.
German Dude
Meet Israel Stevens the Cake Walker and professional juggler and jester to the court of Germans.
Destroyer of Dreams
Publius is so great he kills cats for Reddit gold. Must I add more?
Forum of Forums
Piginzen has been ignoring me longer than I have ignored my boss, which makes him a great addition to my cabinet. I am pretty sure he is not lazy but he just hates me, AWWWWWWWOAOAOOAOA THE HUMANINITY
And Finally
Top Gun
Glove is Boss, deuces
Special Thanks to
ColinLantrip and JFrost for the contribution they have made for Cancer Research.
You might be wondering how I picked such a great cabinet, well the answer is simple. I picked them at random and acquiesced while retaining satisfaction.
I hope this wasn’t too much. I attempted to keep it succinct for everyone involved. I shall now accept your approbation, please give me your ticket stub at the door.
Please refrain from pontificating in the comments below, I hate your faces
Vote Dr. Walter Bishop for President of New York!
I did it mom!
I wrote another article
.
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lol chickensguys, this is pretty damned funny stuff.
Still, no vote. Just out of hate.
This x1000
xD
Deserved the vote xD
Nice use of the thesaurus. God knows you don't really know all those words.
No vote, just because you're a douche.
Yeah, the use of avarice instead of avaricious pretty much gave that away.
I would argue both work and my context allows for it.
Decide to concede defeat after further research. Old Style writers use them a bit differently and I just assumed it applied.
I wish I had the sense to use a thesaurus in High School, In college they just give you books to read and expect you to be an expert in the english language.
Good luck Dr. Walter Bishop!
I don't know who you are, but I will find you and I will vote you.
Very good and funny article.
I lol'd, but I don't think I'll vote >_>
I vote for ya
xdxdxd CG5POTUS
I voted. awesome article
Cool article.
Voted for entertainment value.
Good... luck (?), CG.
Gregor Eisenhorn is a boss.
truthfully, you lost me at "Greetings".
EAT MORE CHICKEN!
I support this
Voted cause its funny.
CG, I really hope this isn't serious. But if it is, meh.
No, we need stability. Not false promises.
I honestly don't think I made a single promise in the entire article.
-insert wittycism here-
to late
Has my vote.
Ok doc. Comment. -))))
I loled therefore I hit the vote button. America needs moar lulzy!
I somehow doubt that I'll be given instructions, or that my party will endorse you... But regardless this was a fantastic article, that I read in my mind, in the voice of Walter Bishop. So well done, I voted the article.
Meh... Overqualified for CP, should run for CoS
Dr. Walter Bishop, you spammed my mailbox asking me to read your article and comment it!
Well, here you are my comment: PLEASE DON'T DO THAT AGAIN!
Fringe event. For sure.
Nice staff. Voted and good luck.
penis
I loled
You a PTOer-lover, get in a boat and go home.
The state of New York isnt big enough for both of us, so gtfo or lose weight.
You have the most amazing cabinet in the entire Occupied eAmerica, because of you Unity must prevail and tell us whom to vote as real democracy should be.
Hope you put the Future in Order.
ROFL, You have actually made me laugh in real life with this. During Glove's last failed attempt at pretending to be a president he had the bright idea to screw with the country and give each one of us the middle finger by making you CoS. It was apparent from day one that you were in over your head and lacked both the ability and intelligence to do the job. Unlike most people who attempt to do things they don't have the ability to do, you actually got worse as each day past. The average person at least gets a little better the more they do something, not you though. Do you honestly think you should be given a harder job when you couldn't even perform an easier one? I will say that it would be entertaining though watching you flounder around helplessly unable to comprehend even the most basic aspects of the job. Chickensguys you lack the ability to be president. Honestly you lack the ability to operate a pencil. Putting you in charge of the country makes about as much sense as putting a monkey in charge of a nuclear power plant. Sure it can somewhat communicate, but it will burn the place down in the end. We don't blame you though for your behavior. We know you can't help it. After all the world has known about the dangers of parents who are too closely related producing offspring for a long time. I'm sure your caseworkers are very proud of you for even developing the ability to write this article. They may even give you a gold star to put on your helmet to let everyone know just how special you are.
Nice Job, Don't read the article. Make some pointless comment. Yes Yes Yes.
Good luck!
Voted for creative use of "animadversion"
Really funny stuff - that was great -
You're overqualified for President. Run for CoS.
Huehuehue
Fun stuff and good ridd.... Cough cough.... I mean luck. XD
Needs more Ajay
How is Peter?
voted o/
I laughed.
Change your name back to Chickensguys.
Is Erep not about war? If these foreigners want to band together to hold us down, then let em control our land with an iron fist and let us keep fighting to push them out. Their occupation of the eUS mirrors the struggles we all face every day. Nothing in life worth having is easy or comes cheap and live is about the journey, not the destination. No compromise, and if they want war lets give them war.
Support for a genius!!!