Join the new world

Those of sound and nifty sense oft-remark upon the ill signs of the modern economy. They'll observe a deluge of couriers, and next day-delivery peoples, and worry about what the gig-economy means for the fundamental relationship between worker and work. In this age of postmen and vans and bicyclist-takeaways, where goods surge from the touch of a finger to your front door (but at what cost?), only one key questions arises (like Spam)...



...Can your party deliver for you?

Here at Spamican HQ, our team of excellent Citizen Scientists already know the answer. But ofc I'd be breaking a personal promise to Mr/Mrs/Mx Science if I just blurted it out here in the newspaper. If you suspect you know the answer too, then you should join up TO-DAY, and find out if you are also a Mr/Mrs/Mx Science.

If, in this hypothetical test of wits, you signed up and found your ken so well received that you too could go around calling yourself Citizen Scientist safe in the knowledge that the authorities on Citizen Science would only affirm and never reproach your claims, then you would (much like a time-travelling Scientologist finding themselves in the Library of Alexandria) gain a unique and twisted perspective on a rare piece of forgotten knowledge that it would take many sentences longer even then this one (the para-sentence, as I call it) and even more laden with brackets of supplementary rare knowledge to articulate it (lets see if UKRP can write a longer sentence - no they can't).

That knowledge is of course that asking if a party can deliver is but a sign of falling into the party-trap, the wild fantasy that the flailing beast of public opinion can be channelled through the single wrinkled hand of a party machine, infirmly grasping at the strings of power whilst distorting that very public opinion into an unrecognisable visage as the political Ouroboros to do so, chew-chew-chewing itself in and out of legitimacy faster and more frequently then a schoolchild tapping the Golden Mushroom as they hurl their digital form toward the finishing line on lap 7 of Baby Park.

Do you follow what I'm saying? Of course you do. That's why you've already decided to hurl your digital form at the finishing line by joining The Real Spamicans. After all, clever knows clever when it sees clever, ay, Citizen Scientist?



I know what you're thinking. "But Mr Woldy, your Highness, The Real Spamicans is a political party?!?!???". I knew you were clever. And you knew I was clever enough to know you were clever enough to ask. And I know that you were clever enough to know that I was clever enough to know that you were clever enough to ask. That's why you have already opened the link to The Real Spamicans and you're going to join when you have finished reading. Clever begets clever - but you knew that already (and not because I already said it).

Well when squashed into the rigid framework of e-Xistence (see what I did there? Of course you did) you might describe us as such, but seeing as we are the only eParty in the eWorld seeking to put no-platform back into no-platforming (see: five pledges) we have a fair claim to not be a Political Party, just... a party. And our promise is not to waste your time with a platform, but to allow the great boiling pot of views to bubble over into the sticky uncleanable mess splattered across the hob top of eUK politics.

To put all this in a more direct manner, the smart choice is to join the party without an agenda, to make absolute sure your body count in the great table of party rankings isn't empowering people with whom you have little contact with, and little in common. Disillusioned? Unsure what your party stands for? Vaguely disagreed with party leaders for years without saying anything because there's been no options? The Spamicans are here to heal that pain and allow you to contribute and count towards a party that will not distort your views or use you as a piece to power because it has no agenda or power to assert.

That is a pretty sweet deal. So what do you say - Citizen Scientist? Or Citizen Denialist?