Aliens Are Probing America!

Day 1,148, 15:34 • Published in USA USA • by SamWystan

Issue 13
"It's a world of chaos out there. Thank Jeebus we have The Fieldist in here with us." ~ssomo, Super American Senator of Oregon


Americans Deal With Foreign Language Newspapers
"I can't make heads nor tails of it," said an American, as he looked at a Turkish-language newspaper at his local newsstand. Turkish papers are just the next wave of papers to arrive in America, which has already seen Croatian and Serbian papers galore. And some Americans aren't happy about the changes. "Gosh darn foreign aliens! Bein' all foreign!" said an anonymous member of the far-right Imperialist Party (not to be confused with the eUS Imperialists). "Goldang foreigns should learn to talk them some good ol' American!"


(But will they print foreign-language lad mags?)

Turks have been arriving in droves, part of the ruling INCI party in Turkey, who have been rejected by their own people after being invited to revitalize the nation. When they tried to crackdown on lawbreakers, the lawbreakers revolted and INCI has felt its influence wan since then. "We wanted them to make this country great, not get us in trouble for cheating!" said one anonymous Turk, while robbing his neighbor. Americans are worried that the Turks will seek representation in easy-to-capture congressional races, although the FEC should provide a bulwark against potential security threats. In the meantime, foreign language papers are here to stay. "What's with all the little dots?" asked one would-be reader in vain.


An Interview With e-kane
Loyal readers will remember the initial forays into the Irish parties that led to such a devoted Irish readership of The Fieldist. The first person who received a message from me about Irish politics was e-kane of the Irish Union Party, and he replied that he would need some time. In the time he needed, his party apparently debated how to answer my questions, and e-kane ran for Irish president. Here below the raw, unedited, interview. Read it for yourself.

The Fieldist: Ireland was wiped from the map. Obviously, this has led to a shift in Irish society. What's the biggest problem facing Ireland in rebuilding the country?
e-kane: The biggest issue for us was that our companies got stuck in eUK, together with parties etc. We had nothing when we regained control. This has improved with the migration possibilities and the move from orgs to citizens.
At the moment our largest challenge is having a small workforce though.

TF: Can you explain where the Irish Union Party came from for our American readers?
ek: Frankly, our history is so long that most members today only are conscious of our first days only as a mythical haze. The best point of reference is our wiki. Center parties often are created though as a pragmatic reaction to other parties, and to the pragmatic need of every day gaming.

TF: Do you think EDEN and the Brolliance failed Ireland during the UK's conquest of Ireland?
ek: Wars are about strategic decisions. Sure it can be hurtful when one finds one self in our situation, but a war is not fought on one front in eRepublic. Fortune comes and goes. And as a nation that went to war our selves, we also have to take responsibility for our fate. It was a known possibility. We have over time received a lot of help from several countries, among them eUSA. We would hope it will not happen again of course. Rebuilding can be a pain.


(Mr. kane's creepy, creepy portrait)

TF: Within Ireland, which party is your biggest competition right now?
ek: After we freed our selves, and found ourself with nothing, two parties where created. They where said to replace all the old end represent the future.
IUP got recreated after that. We have held the stance that things will not change with the change of party names. There has to be other changes for our fortune in eIreland to change. Our challenge at the moment might be to communicate that to the disillusioned citizens.
However, time seems to prove that in it self. Nothing changes until the mindset under the new names changes. People are beginning to see that it seems.

TF: What excites you about Ireland right now?
ek: I am existed that even though eIreland has gone trough severe disappointments, and many of our citizens are disillusioned, we still have a rebuilding spirit in the party. We are putting our betts on the longer term future, so we are not as chought up in precedent intrigues etc. Instead we are looking to improve on our party. The rest will follow by it self.


Canada Agrees: America Should Invade Canada
I spoke to Vice President SGGHays about Canada the other night, and he said, "Canada will drown under a purple tide." His administration handlers immediately rushed to explain to me that this in no way indicated that the Haliman administration would in fact invade Canada, and that Mr. Hays believed he was discussing a dangerous algae bloom that's heading towards Canada.

Then I noticed that former American Joe DaSmoe, who notably moved to Canada to avoid US income taxes, agreed with my assessment that Canada just wanted us. And then something odd happened. Real Canadians agreed. And emphatically. Thus, ladies and gentlemen, I say we invade Canada. The Canadian Armed Forces have lost a lot of money, and they would gain a lot by being shuffled into the US Military.

Their president has been impeached, partly for vendetta, and perhaps for some comments he made about his own nation. Also, Canada could use the superior form of government that lacks a toothless court system.

Long-time readers of The Fieldist will remember that I fought to keep Austria and Germany unified. Unification movements are my specialty.

Together, we and Canada can grow stronger. We can grow better. North America must be united.

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