[PD4CP] You Deserve Better

Day 4,427, 18:57 • Published in USA USA • by PimpDollaz

Greetings once again America. As de rigueur, here is my follow up campaign article.




Another one to make your neighbours deaf with



What is your major malfunction?


First things first, I’m not going to beat around the bush. My fears of recent enemy Poland landing have been realized, and so if given the mandate by the people, my first act as President will be to politely communicate to my Polish counterpart that the gig is up. Their “training war” on our soil will be replaced with a more palatable partner. Should they attempt to resist my efforts, I will view this as an act of war and deal with them accordingly. For those of you not around last year, the Polish were amongst a wave of hostile nations that invaded us and kept us occupied for a very long time. Those are not the actions of a neutral country regardless of their current position in the world sphere. It’s still too soon for my liking. We’re not here to be used as a doormat by our former oppressors. I know we’re not a massive power, but we ought to show a little more backbone than this.



Do you even lift bro?


As I mentioned in my previous article, I don’t have grand sweeping plans for military domination. I do think that if we have P.E.I., we might as well link it to our capital to get its Neodymium bonus. It doesn’t really mean that much, I know; not too many people buy aircraft weapons, but we might as well have it if we are there anyway, who knows when the wigs are going to change things up in this game. Otherwise, we can be a useful ally for our mates in CODE with a blocking maneuver here, or an airstrike there as the situation needs.



I like being domestic


Monetarily speaking, it is Congress that decides what to do with revenue. My position is not to interfere and whatever they decide to do with taxation dollars is perfectly fine with me.

Despite that, a lot of people have been asking me my opinion on domestic programs and what I plan to do in that regard. AARP/CRAP is a great initiative and I would love for it to continue. If I were to add something, I would say that there is just something about getting tanks that everyone really likes. Our more junior citizens especially would be more engaged if we reached out to them. The benefit gained might not necessarily show up on the scoreboard, but the point of giving them tanks is to make it fun for them to stick around in a game where many of them feel that they are too far behind to contribute. Therefore I propose making a discount pool of weapons we can distribute. I don’t have 100 percent concrete details on this yet, as the mathematics will still need to be worked out, but I will most certainly turn my attention towards that once I have dealt with the Polish question.



What do you mean I’m funny? Funny how?


One thing that is missing in this game is kwality media. Every time I look up, all I see is a wall of chickenheads, and I don’t mean the kind that I like. So, I am going to start a writing competition to bring some energy back into the community. It will be based on a certain theme and you will have a time limit to publish articles. The first theme will be humour, so get your ideas ready. I will give more details on the structure later on. I was fortunate enough to get a nice Christmas bonus from Betty Big Shoes and Shaniqua, my two highest earners this year, so the prizes will be as follows:

First place: 40 golds
Second place: 20 golds
Third place: a kick in the face



Meat the team


Minister of Foreign Affairs: Dinnyin

A solid player who’s been around and has plenty of experience. I am really looking forward to working with him to renew our standing internationally.


Minister of Defense: TheNorm

Another oldfg who has been in the game almost as long as I have. He has done a heckuva lot of damage on the battlefields and skies for the country and I am proud to have him on board to help me sort out the complications of the military module.


Deputy Minister of Defense: hcmadman

Of course what outfit would be complete without a little madness? Actually, behind the scenes this guy is hard working, diligent, articulate and knowledgeable. I am sure glad to have him in my corner.


Minister of Education: Max Planck

As a two time former CP, Max was highly instrumental in restoring our country after it was wiped last year. His guidance will be a fine addition for me.


Governor: RF Williams

I thought I was woke until I met this guy. You will know him from reading his exceptional newspaper. If you haven’t checked it out yet, do yourself a favour and give it a read. You’ll thank me later.


Prime Minister: MrBadDecisions

I just had to get this dude on my team. I mean really, with a name like that, what could possibly go wrong?



Thank you

To the SFP for anchoring my CP candidacy. In my ten years in this game you are one of the friendliest parties I have come across. You didn’t have to take me in but you did. Whether I win or lose, your fidelity is humbling.

I would also like to thank my former party, the Federalists for backing my bid for the big chair, much appreciated. I am still proud and horny. Well, mostly just horny.

And a special shout out to hcmadman for being my point man on this campaign and keeping me in line. You are a credit to the nation.




Lastly, my apologies for the length and the lateness of this article. I know people don’t really like a whole wall of text, so I was planning on releasing two smaller articles, but I had to babysit my little nephew, so I decided to combine them. Anyhow, we’ll see you at the polls, thanks for stopping by.