[FEDVR] Days Four and Five

Day 3,261, 07:31 Published in USA USA by fingerguns


Before the sun rises…

Shadowber: spin time?

FG: Jeeez ok shadow, but I only have a couple minutes before I have to go. I’ll be back in the afternoon.

Shadowber: Well I am out all day so I have to do it now.

FG: You’re a junkie, dude. A wheel junkie. Go ahead and spin.

*shadowber disconnects*

FG: What an unfortunate time for his internet to crap out. I gotta go!!! See you guys later!!


Recap of the game so far:

Dear MCKitkat,
Recently, you have created content which was declared to be not legal.
Content type: article
Content info: The Downfall of eUK
Reason: Vulgarity


SUCCESS!!! This game is basically the greatest thing ever. I’ve been so impressed by most of our spinners. Whether it’s writing an article, spamming the forum, entertaining me in the moment or trolling so expertly it gets reported, THE WHEEL IS LIFE!

Sadly, we have our second disappointing loser: Killing Time (kirintiamu). He was workshopping his article and had some great ideas, but couldn’t manage to get it up. I hear he has this problem frequently.

SHAME THIS MAN!
SHAME THIS MAN!
SHAME THIS MAN!
SHAME THIS MAN!

To clear up a little confusion from a previous spin, we turn to Cerb, the law dog, special counsel to the Viceroy.

The Dungeon Master, for any of the selections in the FMK scenario to be binding, they must all be executed in the contractual order. The game is not MFK. Molly Emma telling you to “f*ck off” is not fulfillment of the F scenario. You have no case.


And so begins DAY FOUR

We have a new category on the wheel: ADVICE PLOX. If you land on one of these spaces, I’ll grab a stupid question off of yahoo answers and you have to give this poor soul some advice on the spot. It has potential.

Also FREE PARKING is up to $5500! So let’s get this party started!!

MCKitKat: Me go! Me go!

FG: After your earned a famous point for your trolling mission, I would be honored if you were the first spinner of the day. DO IT!!!



MCKitKat, would you rather fight using a sex toy or have sex using a weapon?

FG: I’m trying to remember what conversation led to me putting that on the wheel.

MCKK: I would fight using a giant purple dildo and wear a Saints Row T-Shirt around.It's the only reasonable answer who wouldn't like beating people up with a giant purple dildo?

FG: That does sound like quite a bit of fun. I’m not going to make you do it, but if you choose to I wouldn’t mind watching.

Psybertron: I want to spin!!

FG: You got it, Psy!


That one was WAY EASY! Pay up. Spin again. $500 added to FREE PARKING!!!


Psybertron, you really should’ve taken the first one. You must now post 100 times in 1 day on the Fed Forum

FG: Not everyone wins on the wheel, Psy. But I believe in you.

Psy: I only have 70 posts ever on the Fed Forum

FG: So more than double your post count in one day. I don’t see a problem.
[update: mission accomplished. Way to go Psy!]

Cult_Personality (Hans Erik): What is this game? I want to play!

*the room explains the rules*

Hans: Ok, I will do this. Spin it!


That one was a prize!! I mean it was a kind of crappy prize, but still. FREE PARKING is now $6500!!!!


Hans Erik, write the song of your people to the tune of a popular song.

Hans: I can do that. Easy.

FG: You said that too quickly. You have to write new lyrics to a song.

Hans: Sure, no problem.

FG: Um, ok, you seem really confident. Can’t wait to see it!!

[update: Hans isn’t very good at English. I’m giving him a pass on this.]

Tenshibo: swag

FG: Hey Tenshibo, did you want to spin?

Tenshibo: swag

FG: I’ll take that as a yes. Spin it up!



Another prize rejected!! You sure about that? FREE PARKING is now $7000!!!!


Tenshibo, do an impression. Write a Fed hype article in the voice of another Fed

Tenshi: swag

Hale Kane: I want to spin! Can I go??

FG: Yeah bruh, do it!


Hale Kane, write a poem about Kody5

HK: hmmmm

Tenshibo: yo hold up. Hey nig, can we trade?

Kody5: YES!! I want a tenshibo poem!

FG: hmmm back to back spinners doing a switcheroo?? You know what, let’s do it. You can trade if you want to.

Hale: Ok Tenshibo, let’s trade!



Tenshibo- write a poem about Kody5
Hale Kane- write a Fed hype article in the voice of another Fed


FG: This should be interesting. I can’t wait to see what you guys do!

Paul Proteus: What is this?

Everyone: The greatest game ever

PP: Ok, I want to play.

FG: Then Paul Proteus SPIN THAT WHEEL!!!



Oh yay! I was hoping someone would land on the new category.
Paul Proteus- “Can my dog infect me? I need help. My dog licked a condom on the sidewalk while i was walking it, wtf do i do?”

PP: Just advice on that? lolk Welp, the average dog has insane amounts of bacteria in their saliva anyway. I actually read a NYT article about that like earlier today, it was fairly horrifying. Anyway I don't see the problem so, just hold off on any exchange of bodily fluid with your dog for the time being, and forever. Dog's lick disgusting shit, like each other's shit, all the time.

Everyone: That advice was weak.

FG: I dunno. It was legitimately good advice.

PP: Yeah. I could do better, though. I guess I’ll just have to keep spinning everyday so I can prove my value.

FG: Not a bad idea!

And with FREE PARKING up to $7000, that ends the wheel for the day! I have decided that if FREE PARKING gets up to $10k, I will DOUBLE IT!!!!!



DAY FIVE

Gabrielz Horn: FG are you sitting so i can spin?

FG: You’re gross. But yeah, go ahead and spin!


I’m a little surprised. That one would be really fun. FREE PARKING is now $7500!!!!


Gabz- Give me $200.

GH: I’m still going to do the first one!

FG: Um, it doesn’t work like that. You paid for a re-spin, so you give up the first thing and have to do the second thing.

GH: But I just gave you $500. I’ll still do the first thing! I will just be late.

FG: You landed on a troll space. Pay up.

GH: NO!!!!!!!!

FG: Oh yes. If you don’t do as the wheel commands, you will be banished.

GH: This game is so unfair.

FG: The wheel is impartial. It doesn’t care about you, Gabz.

GH: Yeah, I can tell.

MCKitKat: Suck it up, Gabz. The wheel is life.



MCKitKat: describe your favorite smell

MCKK: I’m thinking. This has got to be good.

FG: Put it in an article. Take your time. You have 24 hours!
[update:already done]

Yui: I want to wheel!


Yui, FMK- USWP, SFP, BSP

Yui: F*ck USWP, Marry SFP, Kill BSP

FG: Killing BSP makes sense. How did you come to this decision about the other two?

Yui: The SFP used to be cool I even thought about joining them.

FG: I must’ve missed that. I’m sure you’ll be very happy together! And you may be in some luck on that first front. The USWP read your dating profile and they’ve told me they think you’re hot. Hook it up Yui!



Shadowber, Pop quiz, hot shot: who is the tallest person in the eUS?

Shadowber: I'm gonna say Israel Stevens

FG: Why do you think he’s tall? Because he’s black?

Shadowber: He’s larger than life.

FG: Ah, well played, friend. By the way, shadow, it’s too bad your internet crapped out yesterday. You totally would’ve landed on FREE PARKING.

Shadowber: THIS GAME IS RIGGED!!!!

FG: I’m just kidding. You weren’t anywhere near FREE PARKING. Also, just a reminder to everyone, if FREE PARKING gets to $10k, I will double it!

Psybertron: Oh man, that’s hard to resist. I want to spin!


No. F-ing. Way.




PSYBERTRON HIT FREE PARKING!!! That’s $7500!!!!!

Psy: WAHOOOO! I’m gonna use that money to run off to Japan.

FG: Wait, what?

Don.: I’m here for games.

FG: Ah, well you’ve come to the right place. SPIN THE WHEEL!!


That one wasn’t nearly as impossible as you think. Fine by me, though. We need some FREE PARKING MONEY!


@Don_Croata, we need a monarchy. You have 48 hours to convince eAmerica to become a monarchy

Don.: ffs, what's eDefinition of monarchy tho?

FG: I’m not entirely sure. You should figure it out, though, because you only have 48 hours.

Senry: This seems fun. I want to play!

FG: Then play you shall. GO FOR IT!!



Senry, FMK- kody, orik, tyler

Senry: ... Can I kill them all?

FG: I mean…

Senry: Anyway, I'd f*ck Tyler, but not keep him. It seems to generally fit with his theme of helping america in some way, and then fucking off, or souring up the relationship. I also feel like that would be the wisest decision IRL. idk about his relationship history, but I just assume.
I'd kill Kody to claim the SecDef throne.
Aaaand I'd marry Orik. Yeah. He seems like the most stable guy. Like a father. I'd have children with him, is what I'm saying. I think that would be a safe bet.

FG: I appreciate that you treat this with the seriousness it deserves.

Senry: Well that was easy. I want to spin again.

FG: It will cost you $1k.

Senry: Really?

FG: It’s like you guys don’t even read my articles. A second spin costs $1k. Re-spins are $500. If you already did your thing then you can’t re-spin.

Senry: Makes sense. Here you go!





Senry: troll an enemy nation

Senry: I’m all over this. And I'm adding an extra onto mine: get temp banned.

FG: Not only will I allow it, but I actively encourage it.

NAZ: Hello Feds! I know I never hang out with you guys, but I’m running for President, so I thought I’d stop by and remind you all that I’m in your party.

Everyone: *blink blink*

NAZ: Also I want to spin!!!!

FG: Yeah ya do… SPIN THAT WHEEEEEL!!!!



You just paid $500 to NOT win $1. FREE PARKING is up to $2000 already!


NAZ: create a dating profile for someone else to help them find love on erep

NAZ: I can’t do that one. I am running for President. My paper needs to be srs bsns.

FG: NAZ, you don’t become President by defying the wheel. That’s the fastest path to destruction, friend.

Malarkey: I know I wouldn't vote for you if you failed the wheel. Also SPINS PLEASE!



Malarkey- without looking it up, how much CC is 1g worth right now?

Malarkey: Hmm, let’s see. When I left it was like 350-400. And since this game is still shit,
I assume the same?

Everyone: Eh… close.

FG: Shows what I know. This category is supposed to be unanswerable questions.

Malarkey: I want another spin. That was trash.

FG: Ok, $1k for a second spin


FREE PARKING IS UP TO $3000!!!



Lol malarkey… give me $500. That’s the space you landed on, I swear.

Malarkey: Does that go into FREE PARKING?

FG: Hell naw. I’m doing this for freesies. Let me get a little sumpin.

Malarkey: Fair enough.

FG: Seriously though, there are only 2 of those spaces on the wheel. It’s funny that they both got hit today.

Yui: can i spin again?


FREE PARKING IS UP TO $4000!!!



Yui, you won 50 tanks!!

Yui: Oh, cool.



Always nice to end on a prize. I hope Yui enjoys it. He failed to meet his 48 hour deadline for an article so that was his last spin on the wheel! His topic was already given away to someone else.

Great game today, guys. We saw someone win a huge pot of money and that FREE PARKING space is already back up to $4000! Come back tomorrow for another chance to win, and don’t forget I will be doing this all month long. As long as you don’t flake out on any of your challenges and make it through the end of the Viceroy term, you’ll have a chance to win a seriously HUGE prize!




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