Top 5 Reasons to Vote for PimpDollaz [Non-WGC]

Day 704, 03:16 • Published in Canada USA • by PimpDollaz
****editerz note: Look for the [Non-WGC] symbol on your favourite newzpaperz. It's our assurance that you are being provided with only the best unadulterated crap. Like this.****



As you may not care, I, PimpDollaz am running for a seat in Congress to represent my home province of British Columbia. So, why the hell should you vote for me? Well, you can view my platform here. But in case that iz not enough to convince you, I have compiled the top five (5) reasons why you should vote for me:


#5 I will do everything I can to protect eCanada. Just look at these effing Magyars up in Nunavut, befouling our land and building one of their Defense Systems there. Pathetic. As you read this, I am en route to kill them with my bare hands and destroy their precious work. Those goulash eaters will never know what hit them.



#4 I have advanced black belt supreme pimp skills. I have even taught mah kittehz how to handle their bzns


B!tch, stay out mah tender vittelhz


#3 One of my opponents is paranoid and doesn't play well with others


Wha? Allow non-members to run for prez? NEVER!!!! Grrrrr....


#2 I'll sell my own car to fund the Canadian War effort.....well, not really, but I will donate the 5 Gold I get for winning a seat in congress, because I believe that it is the right thing to do.



#1 Prezident Obama has officially endorsed me!


Vote for PimpDollaz on October 25, or I'll come up to Canada and put a foot to your ass

Now, you wouldn't want to disappoint Barack Obama, now would you?


So, vote for PimpDollaz, and everything will be Irie!

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