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The Moose's Grand Prix: The Zinneke Circuit

Day 4,826, 14:19 • Published in Belgium Belgium

• by Raskol the Righteous

Dear readers of the Holy Bulletin,

Today is a beautiful day as we are heading to Brussels to attend the very first race of the Moose’s Grand Prix. Today’s race is held on the Zinneke Circuit, built on the remains of the old Zaventem Airport (internationally known as Brussels Airport). It was specifically designed to host this special event.

Eight ambitious competitors have registered and are now warming up the engines on the starting line. All conditions are met for this first race to be a promising show.

Let us first start with a quick presentation of our eight competitors…

Our first competitor is Desert Mariner! Recently made member of the very select club “Level 100 or more”, Desert Mariner joined the competition by submitting a rather balanced machine. The Hunsrück Trüffeljäger has only one weakness: it lacks acceleration power. It might be due to the size of the vehicle, making up for it with one of the more solid frames in the competition. Coupled with an aggressive mindset, Desert Mariner promises no mercy to anyone crossing their path.

Our second competitor is none other than Director9! Our dictator has seemingly decided to mingle with their people (or is it a stunt double?). Do not be alarmed : Director9 has entered the competition with a very aggressive mindset but the safety of the other participants is ensured (within the limits of our capacity). Named “Nine Is a Classic”, their vehicle seems to be of a light and elegant design. An aggressive mindset might not be a perfect fit for this vehicle, but we’ll see how it works out.

Our third competitor looks like an outsider compared to the others, but they sure seem to be ready for everything that might be thrown at them. Samb1985 has indeed designed a very balanced machine with no apparent weakness. With their patient nature and their Suzuki F2021, Samb1985 do not display any strong feature, however. We’ll see if that ends up paying off in the final table.

Duke of Wallonia and Count of Hainaut, our fourth competitor is Gyantse! We will need to confirm this, but it appears this competitor’s car, the Archduke, was copied by two other pilots competing in the MGP. Their cars are indeed identical and all of them display balanced stats. Their skills and the relation they have with the other competitors are the determining factors in setting them apart. We will pay much attention to the performance of the Balanced Build Band (Triple B )

Straight outta Macedonia, our fifth competitor has a quite menacing name. You guessed it, it’s sto kila bazuki! Second addition to the Triple B, sto kila bazuki will have to make do with their acute intuition to pass the finish line with The Jug. We have heard that this competitor hasn’t made many enemies before entering the competition. If that turns out to be true, he will be able to focus on the tracks and not his close environment.

Our sixth competitor is our national smiling face: Curlybear! Writing bots in their free time, Curly has been looking for new challenges. We would not be surprised if a racing bot is embedded in the Teddy Mobile, the car submitted by this competitor. This would explain why their vehicle displays the best maximum speed capacity in the MGP. This speed does not come without issues however, as the Teddy Mobile shows several weak points. Is our most patient competitor ready for what’s to come?

Our seventh competitor is bendem! Without any hesitation, bendem registered and submitted the third and last addition to the Triple B. “How unoriginal” you might think. bendem makes up for it with their vehicle’s name. Hard to the tongue but delightful to the ear, mghqrgmfnu the inspired is the name. This competitor gracefully allows us to use the more intimate name “fnu” during the rest of the competition.

Last but not least, the King himself has agreed to bless us all with his presence. MCKitkat has submitted a variation of the BBB’s vehicle, losing speed in favor of a better handling. The Swift T-Racer is in good hands with our most charismatic competitor behind its steering wheel. Our King is going to be a real beacon of hope for all his subjects on the tracks. Long Live the King!

AND.HERE.WE.ARE ! Waiting for the official to fire the starting shot. They have been given the green light to start the race whenever all competitors are ready. All pilots are now giving them the thumbs up signaling they are ready to go and… HERE IT IS! The engines are roaring and the wheels are smoking, our competitors are now racing for the first race of the Moose’s Grand Prix!

Samb1985 is off to a good start, making the best of their Suzuki F2021. They are followed by a pack of five competitors, Curlybear and Desert Mariner forming the tail of the group due to a failed kickoff. For your information, all competitors have agreed not to start the hostilities during the first lap of the race, allowing them to get to know the circuit better first.

Nine Is a Classic gives Director9 the opportunity to be the first to hit the front legs of the Zinneke and to demonstrate some real speed on the first long straight line of the race. Samb1985, MCKitkat and Desert Mariner are following them closely, while the Teddy Mobile and the Archduke struggle to keep up with the pace because of their car’s poor performance in the first turns.

The head of the Zinneke is composed of a series of turns and straight lines, putting our competitors to a real test. Director9 and Desert Mariner are now widening the gap with the rest of the competitors. They will undoubtedly end this first lap with a significant lead. Curlybear, sto kila bazuki and Gyantse got to the tail rather fast but their poor handling is again costing them precious seconds. As for the last three competitors, the Sukuzi F2021 and the Swift T-Racer cannot compete with the other machines’ speed capacity. bendem, however, failed to use their car adequately and are now in close proximity to Samb1985 and MCKitkat.

Let us take a look at the board after this first lap:

We are now entering the second lap of this first race and – HO DEAR! Desert Mariner did not hold back a single second before launching their first attack on their target, Director9. As vicious as the attack appeared to be, Director9 was seemingly prepared and Nine Is a Classic dodged the attack in an elegant fashion. Desert Mariner’s struggles to recover are apparent while Director9 takes on the tracks like they have been riding them for the thousandth time, widening the gap with the Hunsrück Trüffejäger.

sto kila bazuki must have felt inspired by this attempt because they did not take long before trying their own attack on Curlybear. It is another failure however and the Jug is now losing distance. This allows the Archduke to close the gap with sto kila bazuki who in turn, allows them to use the slipstream created by their car. As a result, Gyantse manages to catch up with the Teddy Mobile. Curlybear does not consider giving them a chance and tries to stop the Archduke. Left…Right…Left… Gyantse jukes their opponent and ends up right in front of them.

Samb1985 manages to land the first successful attack of the race on His Majesty but fails to close the gap with the peloton. The Suzuki F2021 lacks speed to even consider catching up with a machine such as the Teddy Mobile. If it wasn’t for bendem and their fnu, Samb1985 would be looking at the Swift T-Racer’s taillights right now. MCKitkat’s chances are now thinning because of this successful attack and his low speed.

Here are the results of this second lap:

There are three distinctive groups in this third and last lap. The first is comprised of Director9 and Desert Mariner, leading the race. The second is composed of Gyantse, Curlybear and sto kila bazuki. And finally, Samb1985, bendem and MCKitkat. There is animosity in all groups, but it is certain that most competitors won’t cross path with their teammates nor their enemies.

Director9 is now far ahead, followed by Desert Mariner who is most certainly regretting that attack on the second lap.

Curlybear quickly manages to get in front of Gyantse in a true display of speed. Unfortunately, the Teddy Mobile and the Archduke were not conceived for turns and their poor performance do not allow them to close the gap with Director9 and Desert Mariner. As for sto kila bazuki, they did not recover from their latest failed attack on Curlybear but still manage to keep a short distance on their direct opponent.

The dream seems over for our last pilot, MCKitkat, who sees Samb1985 and bendem racing through the circuit as the latter figuratively holds the former’s hand. Our King does not seem to despair however as he is closing the gap little by little with the fnu. Unfortunately for His Majesty, bendem passes the finish line right in front of him with a narrower margin than the previous lap. If the race was a dozen meters longer, MCKitkat would have seemingly passed before bendem on the finish line.

The first race of the MGP is now over. Here are the results of this last lap:

Let us meet with two of our competitors for a very brief interview. We invited Director9, who finished first after an impressive display of skills and speed, and MCKitkat, who finished last after a poor performance.

RTR: Congratulation on this first place. It must feel good to start off the competition with such a performance. But we would like to know your opinion about the pilots in this competition. In exactly two words, what are your feelings about the other competitors?

D9:“What competition?”

Alright! Shots are fired! One thing is certain, Director9 does not lack confidence! Is there someone to stop him?

RTR: Samb1985’s attack definitely did not help you, but it was not the determining cause of your 8th place. Are you happy with your performance in this first race?

MCK: “His Majesty the King is surprised by the performance of the Swift T-Racer as well as the performance of the driver. His Majesty the King is looking forward to enter the next race with renewed energy and to comment on the performance of the Swift T-Racer. “

His Majesty sure needs some time to rest and to think over his performance. He will have to drastically change his approach if doesn't want to get knocked out of the competition.

A Cat Eye on today’s race:

It was an exciting first race but I would like to insist on three different aspects:

1) Desert Mariner’s failed attack was a real surprise. I mean, all odds were against Director9, but they still managed to come out on top. In my opinion, it was a defining moment for today’s race.

2) The Teddy Mobile has potential but as long the circuits have turns, the handling is going to be an issue.

3) Samb1985 and MCKitkat will need to improve their cars’ speed capacity on the first occasion if they want to stand a chance. Unless the circuit is a big circle, they will stay in the lower half of the table.