Eamon Who?

Day 2,469, 16:18 • Published in Ireland Ireland • by Eamonn DeValera

Who am I?

Well, those of you who remember the name of this newspaper will know that it is me, Bryan O' Shea, under a new name.
Of course, I instantly regretted this name change for two reasons.
Firstly, it was free only once and I now have to fork out 50 gold to change it again. And secondly, even though I am here since day 527, I am once again considered a "noob" because nobody recognises me.
It really is quite annoying but I only have myself to blame.

Anyway, introduction completed, I am back. As some of you have noticed, I have just been elected President of the Irish Freedom Party so you can gather that I do have intentions to achieve more than a few battle hero medals.
To those of you that know me, I admit, I may have been somewhat of a divisive figure in my previous eLife but I always stood by what I believed in, regardless of how popular/unpopular my point of views were.
I served as Minister of Foreign Affairs in the disastrous Starks Hayter administration and have been an active member of Dail Eireann on six occasions.
I have, as some of you may remember, a history with the Irish Freedom Party. It was the first party I really devoted myself to and indeed contributed to it becoming one of the biggest forces in eIrish politics.



Right, introduction definitely completed this time. Yes, that is the lovely Heidi Klum pointing her finger at you saying she wants you.
The thing is, she doesn't really want you, she just wants you to join the Irish Freedom Party. (It cost quite a lot to employ her as the IFP poster girl)
And yes, she does tend to frequent the newly refurbished IFP Lounge on occasion and has been known to enjoy a glass of our finest bourbon.
By the way, most of you do not remember the IFP Lounge!
Well, let me tell you, when I decided to join the IFP again and run for Party President I thought, I must re-open our old headquarters and within those headquarters lies, the Lounge. I opened the door and slowly walked into the cold and dusty room it had become, clawing at cobwebs to move them from my path when suddenly, on the floor at the corner of the bar I found a pair of pants! Yes, I remember, It was John Gormley who ripped these pants off one stormy night at the encouragement of Grainne Ni Mhaille and proceeded to dance, rather poorly on the bar top! Yes, that was just one party, one of many, many which I cannot remember.



The new IFP Lounge.

So this brings me to what I really want to talk about.
The congress elections tomorrow.
Yes, the IFP has some candidates, one of them being me and yes, we are canvassing you for your vote.



The list of candidates is as follows,
Shayan Rmz


CuFaoil


Domagojvu II


Rikian1776


and last but not least, yours truly, Eamonn DeValera/Bryan O' Shea!


Yes thats us, the brady bunch!
But seriously, we are not a bad bunch, so when you are voting tomorrow, please remember to vote for the Irish Freedom Party.


You may be asking why should I vote for the IFP guys??

Well,
why not?
The Irish Freedom Party is beginning a period of rejuvenation and recruitment and will become a force of eIrish politics once again.
We will be an alternative, we will be transparent and we are open to everyone.
Even the Lounge is open 24/7 if you feel you need a pint or a ham sandwich!
We have a team that is working on policies to define the Irish Freedom Party and show what we stand for, we have a team that is dedicated to the eIrish people.

So, for god sake, vote this article up because hell knows, the media is a bit thin on articles worth reading, apart from a few of course.

Thank you for reading, and VOTE IFP!

Cheers,

Dev