CHUCK NORRIS!

Day 1,587, 13:38 • Published in USA United Kingdom • by Henry Hank Moody

Just some jokes about Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris can rob a bank by phone.

Chuck Norris remembers the future.

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.

A cop once pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.

Chuck Norris won the World Series of Poker using Pokemon cards.

Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke.. ..that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris can cut through a hot knife with butter.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can make a hole in the sun with a snowball.

Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.

Chuck Norris tells signs what to do.

When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror, it breaks. Even a mirror knows not to get between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd - No one fools with Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin he built.

Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made of real cowboys.

Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.

Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

When Chuck Norris rides into the sunset, the sun is actually running from him.

Chuck Norris was once struck by lightning...Thats why lightning never strikes the same place twice...because Chuck Norris is looking for it...

Parking space for the disabled is not intended for them, but for Chuck Norris. Sign only indicates what will happen to you if you park on it.