[Wankers] Roll Call

Day 3,183, 03:32 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by Hail Astrid


The story and history behind one of the eUK's greatest military units, known to all and sundry as Wankers, remains a tantalising tale.

Once open to all who wished for a better world, more peaceful times, and 60 frames per second pornography, the group has now become a closed enclave, with its membership becoming invitation-only. As befitting an invitation-only military unit, invites were sent out, seeking those who appeared to embody the Wanker manifesto in both heart and soul. A manifesto once eloquently described as such by leader and founder Hail Astrid:


A few brave fools answered this call, leaving the comfort and safety of their previous military units to venture into the unknown - for the chance to become heroes or villains, to gain fame to their names and honour to their families. Most did so with reckless abandon, with enthusiasm usually reserved for 60 frames per second pornography. Some were more cautious, preferring to enter silently and wait for orders from above, or at least some sign - a reason for having received an invitation to join this privileged and esteemed group, usually reserved for the gods among men who walk this eEarth.

I know what you're thinking.





| Roll Call

Here is the current status of the unit, comprising five members unless anyone does/has done a runner after the screenshot:



As you can see our members are in excellent condition, with an impressive record of abstaining from fighting. Aaaaseilern, in particular, deserves particular praise with an astounding nine months without committing the evil of touching the Fight button.



| Think You Have What It Takes?

Currently, there are two requirements to become a wanker. Well, not really requirements, per se, more like friendly guidelines.

- Interest in humourous trolling/mild griefing/mad banter
- Preferably uninterested in fighting for the eUK, any other eCountry, or your right to party

So if you fit these requirements...

More information will be available shortly.
You may now return to your scheduled furious masturbation.