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What ho Chaps! How's morale? OK, OK don't answer that one!

Can you believe it has been a month already since the usurper Sir Humphrey Appleby coincidentally held a Sausage Cook-A-Thon on election day and led our voters' guide dogs astray? A move that not only denied Zaphod his rightful place as El Presidente but set in motion a series of unfortunate events that left us in our current position...bent over a barrel with our sh*t stained y-fronts around our ankles.



I of course refer to our Training Wars-cum-Occupation or – as the government prefer to call it - Enforced One Sided Cultural Exchange Programme. Apples made a solemn vow not to repeat the Roman themed b*llocks of last time and, true to his word, we had none of that just a Grecian theme instead.
The eUK has fully embraced our new found Greek culture and I'm pleased to hear reports that most of us spent the weekend getting rat-arsed on Ouzo and trying to bankrupt the Eurozone. Γαμώστε την Ευρώπη !

Talking of which...

I'm going to be quite blunt here in saying the legacy of the last term was the wipe and it's what we deserved, we had no direction and basically drove around in circles until the wheels fell off and we crashed. A last ditch attempt was made to try and salvage something of value from the wreck but it was too little too late, as soon as the immortal lines “It's only a few days until the election...” are uttered you know you're going to have to wait. Often governments go on leave in the last week of a term or, in some cases, the last fortnight.

The good news is after we poured Humphrey's booze down the sink, cut out his tongue, sliced his vocal chords, stuffed a sock in his month, sewed his lips together, locked him in a soundproof box and submerged that in the deepest part of the ocean we had started getting somewhere in talks with nations concerned in our plight and those talks have immediately resumed with the new governments.

Talking is one thing, doing is another and if the talks get us nowhere soon then we will shift gear.

Predominately this is Foreign Affairs but that is intrinsically linked to the Ministry of Defence and it's bloody hard to say where to fight if you don't have a clue whose side you're on. I am pleased to announce that the MoFA and MoD are basically merged for this term so that removes a level of bureaucracy and should speed decision making up...just need to get rid of that pesky congress next.

F*ck Me Chaz You Don't Half Prattle On...

Aye that I do lad. That I do. The point is there is a lot work to be done and I will put my hands up and admit I fell well short of what I hoped to achieve in the MoD last term. In my defence I was severely sidetracked for much of it but in going off course so I neglected my core responsibilities and for that I apologise.

The key targets for this term are:

Reopen and Utilise Mass Mails
Last term we had around 140 players in mass mails and they were selected based on activity in the weeks prior to the new term. This represents our core of active fighters and by using these mails we know information has gone directly to the troops. If they chose to read or follow it is out of our hands.

Again I am more aware than anyone that I didn't pay these the attention they deserve especially in the last week of the term. Hopefully by having a clue what's going on this term we will actually have information to provide!

Supplies/COs
One of the ideas mooted at the end of last term was compensation for players because of the wipe. I personally would prefer to see this cash used toward directing our damage more efficiently so it's mutually beneficial and will do so with the Military budget.

Players can earn extra cash/supplies which will help a little whilst productivity is low and all we'd want in return is that you fight where necessary...and then we all join hands and sing Kumbayah or something.

NPF Malarky – New Pilot Foundation?
This certainly requires an article of its own to explain the ins and outs so I'll be brief (Huzzah!)

Basically I want to have a crack at reinstating an NPF type thingy but instead we try to brainwash new and existing players to bolster our Airforce of tomorrow.

Articles
I have learnt that the key to being considered to be a success in government is not necessarily to do things...but to be seen to be doing things.

Expect vague articles blowing my own trumpet on a regular basis.

Other Stuff
Stuff and things.