[ESO] The ESO Times (again)

Day 3,361, 02:51 • Published in United Kingdom United Kingdom • by VoodooMike71


Welcome back to The ESO Times - the increasingly haphazard journal of what the Nation’s Favourite Party* has been - and will be - doing.


Competition #1
In the last issue we bemoaned the fact that the title of this imaginary newspaper doesn’t really reflect just how pant-wettingly exciting ESO is.

So, it’s time for a change.

But what should we change it too?

Hmm … we wonder.

Hmmmmmmm.....

Actually, sod that. Let’s stay true to our legendary principles of democracy, openness and equal opportunity, by throwing this open to the good public of the eUK. You can decide what this paper should be called in the future.

Simply make your suggestions in the comments section below. If there are any good ones**** - and we’re sure there will be - a crack panel of ESO illuminaries** will decide which is best and immediately apply it to the next issue. What could possibly go wrong?

And who knows, we may even send some tat we don’t want any more carefully choose a special prize for the person who makes the winning suggestion.

So get thinking! Get creative! Or get over to this website and pick a standard name off the list.



Competition #2
While, obviously, the soon-to-be-renamed ESO Times is by far the best* newspaper in the eUK, we’re not blind to the fact that there are other publications out there, some of which are occasionally quite good.

On top of that, we’re looking for an excuse to reuse a GIF that we particularly like, which made its way into the last ESO Times article.

So, in the spirit of generosity and recycling, we’re delighted to announce the…

Award for Super Scribes, from ESO (ASSESO)



How to enter ASSESO
1. Write a great article.
2. Or read a great one someone else wrote.
3. Nominate it by putting a link to it in the comments below.
4. Wait.

Once the competition closes our aforementioned crack team of ESO illuminaries** will judge the entries and choose a winner.

The winner will receive … wait for it … 100 Q7 weapons and 1000 Q5 food. And a badge, which we’ll make up closer to the time. And if you nominate someone else’s article, we’ll split the prize equally between you and the author. You can fight over who gets the badge though.

Excited? You betcha!

Eager to get on with it? Almost certainly.

Still here? Probably not.



So there you have it; the latest - and possibly last - installment of the “ESO Times”.

What other party brings you fun, frolics and bare-faced awESOmeness (copyright Aleks 2015, god rest his soul) as this? None. That’s right. So if you want to be part of the action, part of the legend, then you’d probably best get your arse over here and join ESO.

See you in a minute.

Much love,

ESO Spokesman






* as voted for by members of ESO**

** when we say “members of ESO”, we mean one member - me***

*** VoodooMike71

**** by “good ones” we mean “disgusting and borderline illegal”