The Nature of e-Things

Day 5,090, 15:17 • Published in USA USA • by Socialist Freedom Party
The Nature of e-Things

Your #1 News Source for Tasteless Tropes and Socialist Isotopes * eRep Day 5090

Recommended short film / song of the week: "The nature of things" (Herbert Bail Orchestra)




For your revolutionary enjoyment and socialist education, here's a few more Frequently Asked Questions and Answers. This time about the game itself.


Where can I find a clear-cut user manual?



The game is so devilishly complex the admins implemented a clever feature that allows players to explain it to each other. Just ask around.

However, some texts are available.

Important clues on how to play a meaningful game can be found, for one, in Being and Nothingness by J-P Sarte. Before digging in there, you might want to plow through Edmund Husserl's The Idea of Phenomenology first. Oh. And, of course, Heidegger's Being and Time, Whitehead's Principia Mathematica and Wittgenstein's Tractatus and Philosophical Investigations will prepare you well for navigating the murky waters of the metagame.



What the heck is a Dioist?



Couple of answers. Neither one quite right.

"Dio" refers to heavy metal superstar Ronny James Dio. The stirring song "Rainbow in the Dark" by his eponymous band Dio is the official anthem of the quasi-religious / queezily-nationalist in-game Dioist movement.

"Dio Brando" refers to Dio Burandō, an evil character designed based on serial killers. He is featured in the Japanese manga "JoJo's Bizarre Adventures". Having been abused by his alcoholic father, Dio "Brando" -- a vampire -- seeks power at any cost.

Not too surprisingly, the e-Dioist movement originated in the e-world's lamest "superpower". But it's all good. Dioists are your friends. Dioists have always been your friends.




Where did the idea for eRepublik come from?



A gang of Romanian youths, intending to study for their economics class at the American University at Baie Mare, instead spent all night getting increasingly drunk playing a Facebook browsing game, while simultaneously clowning around with World of Warcraft and frolicking through a game of Strip Risk and listening over and over again to the song "Trenul fără naș" by Romanian rock legends Iris.

Their Tuica-fueld activities may have been super-charged by the use of a substance that rhymes with placid. Resulting in a mad programming orgy that went on for days. Since this is a family-oriented journal, we'll omit the sordid details regarding what kind of plug-and-play unit testing was performed.





What is the purpose of eRepublik? How does anybody win this game?




The short film linked-to above, "The nature of things" works as a documentary which addresses this question in an artful manner.


LOL. Just kidding. No. Yeah. It's easy. Just make your e-country into a a superpower and take over the world! BAM. You win. Give it a try. Americans are especially good at this. Because Murika.


Ha-ha. Kidding again. But yeah. Go on. If not militarily, then economically. Just do it! For example, a winning strategy probably is to convince your elected officials to raise the minimum wage to the maximum amount! The government can simply use their secret "print more money" function -- currently only used to give endless piles of e-money to those who are "in the circle". That will make all your citizens multi-zillionaires. Who can then buy a mercenary army from a superpower!




If that doesn't work, then simply trust your elected government officials to make the best decisions. Simply sit back and enjoy the ride. After all, they've been elected. They have all the power and you don't. Being ordinary hoi polloi. Easy-peasy. Just follow your leaders to gloryland!



If none of that rocks your boat, you can click buttons. Lots of buttons. So many buttons.


If you're still bored and still looking for a way to win, try the "introduce aggravating real-life issues" ploy. Tried and true approaches include... Post something in the Serbian media about Kosovo. Or make a joke in the Turkish media about that fella whose name rhymes with soda jerk. This strategy is called "Death by Trolling". You'll be thrown out of the game. Or your e-life will become so miserable during the enusing Troll Backlash Cyclone Bomb that you'll quickly find that delicious "Delete my Account" button. In either case you'll win big because now you can spend your valuable time on something useful, like studying economics at an American university so you can learn how to import Romanian plum brandy.


LOL. Kidding again. Ackshually. There is a simple two-step path to psychological victory. Step 1.. Borrow your parents' (or someone else's) VISA or MasterCard. Step 2.. Spend inane amounts of money buying "packs" and whatnot. Soon you'll feel like Dio Burandō and be the envy of all the e-players!






That's all for today. Stay tuned to this journal for more great game tips!!




Hey. Why not go ahead join the Socialist Freedom Party today? It's a gas, man!