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Dear readers of the Holy Bulletin,

First of all, we wish you all a happy Valentine’s Day. It is with our hearth filled with love that we head towards Liège, where the second race of the Moose’s Grand Prix will occur. We now realize how relevant it would have been if today’s race happened in Brugge since it is often called the “Venice of the North”. We apologize for that missed opportunity.

Anyway, let’s get back to business. Today, the pilots will compete on the infamous Tchantchès Circuit. This circuit runs in the city’s streets, making it one of the most accessible circuit to the public. The proximity of the crowd around the starting line illustrate that perfectly. In order to ensure the security of the spectators, the organizers have decided to cover the first and last meters of the race with sand. The sand hinders the cars’ speed and forces a careful piloting from our competitors. Furthermore, our pilots have agreed not to act aggressively towards one another when still on the sandy part of the road.

Let’s meet with our competitors as they are getting ready for this second race.







Finishing first with a consequent lead, Director9 is ready to win this second race. They have proven that their car is up for the task, but they still need to prove how good they can handle a more aggressive environment. We have heard rumors that other pilots have been studying this pilot’s first race and are just waiting for an opportunity to strike.

Desert Mariner hasn’t visibly made peace with their decisions on the first race. They were so close to land a perfect attack on Director9… Unfortunately, it missed, and they had to make do with a second place. Is Desert Mariner going to insist and target Director9 again? Or will they focus on the race?

Curlybear had ups and down during the first race, but they sure do look confident about their car’s speed. Will it be enough to maintain a place on the podium?

Gyantse and sto kila bazuki occupy the middle of the provisional ranking board. With identical cars, it is up to their skills and their relationship with the other competitors to set them apart. We know for a fact however that sto kila bazuki has taken a liking to Gyantse. We will find out if that cost them in the long run.

Samb1985 was presented as an outsider in the latest article about the MGP. Now we know he can count on bendem to provoke a kerfuffle in the bottom part of the board. As we know, MCKiktat would have finished 6th if it wasn’t for the coordinated actions of Samb1985 attacking His Majesty and bendem pulling their Suzuki F2021 far ahead.






The crowd is stacked and shouting for the race to begin. The pilots have been warming up their machines for a while now, the starting shot is about to be heard…THERE WE GO! It’s not as impressive as the first race, but it is definitely way louder ! The sand is a real challenge for all competitors, forced to push their engines to their limits.

All eyes are directed towards Nine Is a Classic, Director9’s car. Expectations aren’t met as they perform one of the worst start. As for Desert Mariner, their poor acceleration almost pins them down. Surprisingly (regarding their performance during the previous race) MCKitkat and bendem get out of the sandy part of the race in a second.

The Swift T-Racer faces no challenge in the first dozen meters of the race and quickly end up getting ahead of everyone. Just like last time, hostilities are quick to appear between the competitors as both Desert Mariner and sto kila bazuki try to attack Director9. The Hunsrück Trüffeljäger on their left flank and the Jug on their right flank, the only way out is forward. Director9 dodges the attack in the last second while Desert Mariner and sto kila bazuki clash together, losing precious time. It looks like the scenario from the previous race is happening again today.

Curlybear takes advantage of the mayhem while clearing the left flank of Desert Mariner, granting them a quick recover. They return the favor by flashing their lights. Looking through the mirror, Curlybear sees bendem’s grim smile as they attempt their first attack. The Teddy Mobile’s speed is no match however and Curlybear ends up gaining speed. It looks like a first alliance was signed between Desert Mariner and the winner of the latest duel.

MCKitkat’s lack of speed allows Curlybear and bendem (who barely felt the consequences of this failed attack) to pass him. His Majesty must be aiming the 7th place because he tries to cut the fnu’s path. bendem dodges and forces the Swift T-Racer to slow down. Little did he know, three other competitors were looking forward to crossing path with their King.

Samb1985, who’s managing to keep a short distance on Curlybear and bendem, wants His Majesty to eat dust. MCKitkat sees it coming and perfectly dodges this first attack. As Gyantse approaches, His Majesty is relieved and inspires the former “Serve the Crown and win this race” the King has been heard saying, according to witnesses. But MCKitkat’s benevolence is short-lived. In a dramatic turn of events, Gyantse betrays their King. Sadly enough, His Majesty dodged this second attack, as if he was prepared for it. Unfortunately, while dwelling on what had just happened, MCKitkat did not see Director9’s attack coming. Director9’s aggressive mindset leaves no place for mercy and it looks like the recovery will be long. It appears His Majesty is the Public Ennemy n°1 in this race.

sto kila bazuki has been dealing with their own problem. Getting out of the sand appeared to be a challenge and the failed attack on Director9 places him far enough for MCKitkat to recover just in time. Enraged, His Majesty quickly closes the gap with Desert Mariner and Director9. This, my friends, promises to be a much tighter race.

Let us check the performance on the first checkpoint:



As we reach the first leg of Tchantchès, Curlybear attempts an attack of their own on Gyantse, who is just on their tail. It is however another failed attempt. bendem sees a perfect opportunity to make things right but fails, in turn, to hinder Curlybear’s movement. Witnessing the scene, Gyantse feels like giving a hand to bendem and allows them to use the slipstream created by the Archduke.

Thanks to their powerful engines, Director9 and Desert Mariner manage to reach Curlybear by passing Samb1985. In some sort of Belgian Tourniquet, the Teddy Mobile and the Hunsrück Trüfflejäger quickly stack up speed, passing Director9. Any sane person would stop attacking Director9 after two costly attempts, but Desert Mariner wants another go at it, nonetheless. Upon reaching Director9, they roll down their windows, and they’re heard (presumably) saying “That’s for last race”. Desert Mariner suddenly steers and knocks Director9, landing the first successful attack on them. One down, two left to go for the duo. Drafting behind one another, they quickly end up leading.

bendem, Director9, Gyantse and Samb1985 peacefully try to catch up with the duo, sometimes helping one another gaining speed. So far, among these four, we noticed that both Director9 and Gyantse have helped bendem, and the latter has helped Samb1985. All four, if you think about it, have targeted or have been targeted by (in bendem’s case) MCKitkat.

As for sto kila bazuki, it looks like they have finally caught up with MCKitkat, passing him right before Tchantchès’ arm.

Let us take a look at the competitors’ performance before they hit the scarf and head :



Now, this is going to be a tricky part. We know for a fact that the Triple B (Gyantse, bendem and sto kila bazuki) and Curlybear were not looking forward to riding this part of the race. Indeed, the turns and curves awaiting our competitors favor cars with a better handling.

But Curlybear can count on their teammate to guide them through this part. The duo races through it like it’s nothing. As for the rest of the competitors,Director9 manages to get on third mainly due to their high handling.

Let us check the situation halfway through:



sto kila bazuki’s bad handling allowed MCKitkat to catch up with them, grabbing from time to time a 7th place on the board. But the lack of speed (and teammate, let’s be honest) is just too much for His Majesty.

While Curlybear and Desert Mariner keep distancing more and more the rest of the pilots, Samb1985, with bendem’s help, manages to pass Gyantse. Attacking the (only?) friendly competitor might have been a bad decision for the Governor.

Here is the performance of the competitors at the fourth checkpoint:



The second race is coming to an end as the competitors reach Tchantchès’ other foot. Just like the previous race, there are three groups. The first group consists of the leading duo. The second group is composed by Director9, bendem and Samb1985, giving everything to end up on the podium. The last three participants are battling it out to the very end.

Without surprise, Desert Mariner and Curlybear end the race with a significant lead. Curlybear has been leading during the entire race. The toes of Tchantchès pose no threat to the duo and they are now entering the last turn before the sand. Curlybear has taken advantage of their speed and stand right in front of Desert Mariner, hitting the sand first. But Desert Mariner wants the victory for themselves, almost skipping through the last turn and drifting in the sand. “Surely this must be illegal, right?” But the crowd loves it. The spectators don’t even have the time to start chanting, Desert Mariner ends up right beside Curlybear on the finish line. Impossible to tell who passed the finish line first.

No time for the answer, Director9, bendem and Samb1985 are approaching the area. Director9’s perfect handling of the turns gives them enough lead to hit the sand before bendem and Samb1985. The latter’s lack of speed is again a problem as they lose distance to bendem. It’s a very close call between the pilots of Nine Is a Classic and the fnu since it rode through that sand like it was asphalt. Unfortunately for bendem, Director9 passes the finish line first.

The Suzuki F2021 wasn’t designed to be driven on sand, and Samb1985 struggles to reach the finish line while Gyantse, sto kila bazuki and MCKitkat are approaching. Fortunately, Samb1985 passes the finish line right after Gyantse and sto kila bazuki arrive on the sand, with MCKitkat not so far behind. It appears sto kila bazuki had trained for this moment because they pass Gyantse right before the finish line… BUT WAIT! sto kila bazuki slows down and give Gyantse the bro-nod. “Awww” reacts the crowd. A kind but dangerous move as MCKitkat is about to finish the race. Closely enough, sto kila bazuki ends up trading their sixth place for the 7th place.

Let us take a look at the final results:



It appears the officials gave the first place to Desert Mariner after reviewing the images. The crowd loved the boldness demonstrated by the Hunsrück Trüffeljäger’s pilot and the officials’ decision will feed this admiration.








Let us meet with the competitors for a very brief interview.

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When asked about Desert Mariner’s performance, most of the competitors undermined the skills of the Hunsrück Trüffeljäger’s skills. “Damn luck” answered sto kila bazuki, “Lucky guy” said Samb1985, “Lucky, unlucky” interjected bendem (which one is it though ?) and even their teammate, Curlybear, agrees with the other competitors, “Very lucky” he declared.

When asked about their own performance, Desert Mariner stays modest: “Overrated”

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But today’s race is marked by several attacks, some defining moments for the rest of the competition. We asked three competitors about the attacks they suffered from others.

Raskol the Righteous (RTR): Gyantse, did you expect that attack from Curlybear?

Gyantse: The attack was a surprise, but I managed to salvage the score, somehow.

RTR: Well, did you now? … Director9, what are your feelings about Desert Mariner’s second and successful attack on you?

Director9: No hard feelings, you gotta do what you gotta do, take down that sucker.

RTR: You did not hold off when attacking MCKitkat, that’s sure, but I’m not sure that was “what you gotta do”. About that, MCKitkat, did you expect this attack from Samb1985, Director9 and more importantly, Gyantse? How do you feel about that?

MCKitkat: His Majesty always expects reactions towards himself, be it praise or, as seen here, vicious attacks. His Majesty prefers to focus on the matters at hand, for they are more important than petty squabbles of the common nobody.



A Cat Eye on today’s race:

This race was much tighter than predicted. There are basically two reasons:

1) Attacks and friendly actions occurred much earlier.

2) The race was shorter but more balanced in terms of straight lines and curves.

It is clear that there is at least one alliance at the moment (Curlybear and Desert Mariner). But something tells me their friendship will be challenged in the upcoming races. 😉

Many surprises await. They will have an impact on both your cars and the races. Expect a new PM by the middle of the week.








Rewards will be sent shortly.


Raskol The Righteous,
Harbinger of the Church of Rebirth